


The Legal Abduction of Director Remus Frickin Dahmer

by Panmixia



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Age Play, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Human, Burns, Classification AU, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Being an Idiot, Director AU, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Forced Bonding, Forced Infantilism, Hurt Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Implied Nuerodivergency, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kidnapping, Legal Drama, Littles are know, M/M, Movie Production, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Not an ounce of canon, Omega Verse, Other, Parent Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Parent Morality | Patton Sanders, Patton Sanders Is a Nurse, Self-Hatred, Self-harming Tendancies, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Temper Tantrums, Vomiting, horror film
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:20:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27871449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panmixia/pseuds/Panmixia
Summary: Classification au.Remus Frickin Dahmer (yes his legal name) is a little in hiding so he can follow his ambitions of being a household name as a horror director. He's created endless scenarios to frighten a generation of movie goers, but his personal nightmare is coming true as he's pursued by two adoring caregivers desperate to have him become their sweet little baby.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, no remrom
Comments: 250
Kudos: 148





	1. Absolutely not a little

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Hope you enjoy this, my first solo fic.
> 
> It's gonna get a bit darker, this is a forced infantilism fic, even though Remus is a little he's going to have regression forced on him while being forced to stay with people he hates. 
> 
> This is a classification au, and works as such.  
> Everyone is either Alpha/Beta/Omega. 
> 
> Then, subcategories fall as  
> Sub/Dom, Owner/Pet, Little/Caregiver, Master/Servant. 
> 
> Classifications are written as your most prevalent trait. Ie. If you are classified as both Beta and a pet, but you are in pet headspace more often than not, then it's written as Pet/Beta.
> 
> Remus is legally Beta/Neutral but actually Little/Beta  
> Roman is Alpha/Caregiver  
> Patton is Caregiver/Omega
> 
> The other sides are planned to be in this but I haven't figured out their ranks. 
> 
> 🚫Warning for: vomiting, very brief line about rape, unhealthy eating habits, taking horrible care of one's self, self harm for the purpose of punishing one's self 🚫
> 
> Let me know if I missed anything!

"ACTION!" 

The nasally high pitched voice of the manic director echoes around the set, newer staff on set flinching at the tone. Actors on set jumped into action, and Roman himself channeled a frightened expression as he recited his well versed lines. Roman knew every single line from every scene from back to front, so much so he’d driven his husband half mad reciting the lines in his sleep.

He made a note to pick up some flowers on his way home.

He didn’t mean to go overboard with rehearsal, he just really needed this role to work out. Roman had been into theatre since he could toddle- after two Beta sisters and a Pet sibling, the Prince Parents were ecstatic to finally have an Alpha son and threw everything Roman could ever want right at his feet. 

Roman felt proud to say he’d earned this role, though. The audition phase was grueling, finding out he would not be able to pay his way into the lead role was shocking enough but the director was an awfully picky man despite his eccentrics. 

The movie itself was a psychological thriller, not surprising when the director is _Remus Frickin Dahmer,_ that explored a deep routed paranoia of being watched, followed, and tracked. Background characters were hidden in plain sight, staring blankly at the screen, not noticeable at a first glance but impossible to forget once seen. It would be up to the audience whether or not they believed the stalkers were real by the end of the movie. Roman had to admit the script was pure genius, but was curious as to where the inspiration came from. Most of Remus’ work was deeply personal, art pieces in their own right, so just what was Remus paranoid about?

The scene ended with Roman’s character screaming himself hoarse - though, of course, Roman knew how to scream safely and was not actually hoarse from the scream. The director called cut, stepping side to side antsily as he watched the scene playback on the camera. 

It may have only been Roman’s first week on set, but he’d learned quickly that the director was practically never seated- always walking around, watching the actors like a big cat watches prey, taking in their every movement to ensure it aligned with his vision. The man was also constantly drinking various energy drinks, limbs twitching from the overload of caffeine and possibly the cause of his endless pacing.

“Roman-o Cheese!” Unfortunately quite used to the ridiculous nicknames from his boss, Roman snapped to attention, standing stiff as a soldier and soaking in every criticism and advice Remus has “I’m loving all the ass shots you’re giving the camera, but you’re body blocking like you’re in a play. Pay attention to where the camera is and which one is in use, they’re your audience, not the tech crew.”

For all his eccentricities, Remus gave very valuable advice. Roman nodded frantically, giving an eager ‘Yes boss!’ which was simply sneered at as the lanky man wandered off. The crew was on lunch for the next two hours, but the director never took advantage of the buffet or went out to lunch- simply returned to his trailer or workshop to continue some scarily realistic prop. He’d asked the tiny mic operator, Talyn, about the directors habits and they just smiled 

“He’s like this on every project, total dedication. Pretty sure it borders on obsession, but he never pauses during production. We’re lucky if we can shove a greasy kebab or burger down his throat twice a week to make sure he doesn’t pass-out mid filming.”

The comment was supposed to be light hearted, but it honestly rubbed Roman the wrong way. No one objected to the man taking such terrible care of himself? Remus was classified Beta/Neutral and had no known spouse- an only child and orphan, too, the director clearly had no support group to fall back on so surely his staff would see the need to step in and force basic selfcare.

Ok, maybe his caregiver side was rising, but something about Remus had him on edge.

Roman decided to talk to the director, see if he could convince the man to lunch. Remus was hunched over his newest prosthetic--a feminine torso with the spine protruding from the back. He wasn't quite sure how Remus made the effects so seemingly realistic, especially since there were no reference pictures in sight- disturbingly, this creation seemed to come soley from his own imagination. 

"What are you lurking for, Princey? Fantasising about chopping me up into pieces, I hope" 

Roman jerked at the remark, looking up from the prop he was staring at to lock eyes with an amused looking Remus. 

"Wha? No, no. I was actually… Um, wondering if you'd like to come to lunch with me?" 

"That's a date rape line if ever I heard one," Remus was leaning against the work bench, grinning wildly at the banter - but the manic nature of the man made him appear ready to lunge, and Roman shifted uncomfortably "Don't you have an Omega at home? Is he not cutting it anymore? Gone a week without getting any and you're a sex crazed maniac?" 

Roman swallowed thickly, frowning at the crude nature of the man's words. Still, he had a suspicion it was all deliberately said to frighten him off. Remus never seemed to keep any friendly company, perhaps this was the reason - getting defensive and resorting to scaring the person off. 

"Not… Not at all, sir, it just seemed… Well we both seem to be without company, and thought we could both use a… Friend?" 

A beat of silence before it was broken by Remus cackling like a man possessed, head thrown back and clutching at his sides, instantly making Roman feel stupid 

" Oh, OH! That's rich! You come to me in hopes of making a friend?" Remus stopped his laughter to give him a startlingly serious glare, eyes locking Roman in place _"I'd break your soul in one sitting, pretty boy. Now get lost, I'm busy"_

With that, Remus was ignoring his existence, returning to his work - although the occasional giggle escaped under his breath, the laughter light and more genuine this time. Almost endearing. 

Roman frowned deeply, not making a move to leave as his mind rushed to consider what to do. Remus certainly seemed adamant he wanted Roman to leave, but did he actually? Rudeness aside, Remus certainly seemed more relaxed with company, shoulders not up high in tension nor face hardened into a scowl. Plus, despite his earlier reaction to company, Remus was making no move to kick him out. 

Mind made up, Roman found an abandoned spinning stool in the corner, sitting down and pulling his phone out. 

"I thought I told you to get out" 

Roman looked up at the man, who didn't seem genuinely bothered, and decided a little lie couldn't hurt. 

"Sorry, I'm trying to message my husband, and this place is the only place on set that has decent signal" 

In actuality Roman couldn't get a single bar of signal, and was actually playing word crush, and by Remus' expression he caught the lie. Luckily he didn't seem to care all that much, shrugged simply and returned to work. 

The silence continued, not particularly comfortable or uncomfortable as Roman subtly watched his boss, and his boss in turn pretended like he didn't notice. Remus began humming to himself, in a work flow of sorts. 

The flow stopped, however, when Remus tripped and almost face planted, just managing to catch himself on the bench. Roman stared at him, and Remus stared back, eyes wide and scared--Roman could swear he saw them big, baby browns get wet with tears as he took in the shock of almost falling. 

Just as Roman was going to give in to the urge to go and help him, Remus blinked away the tears and righted himself looking anywhere but Roman before finally settling on his large platform shoes with laces undone; the obvious reason for the slip. 

Remus swallowed thickly, leaning down to tie them, although he seemed almost nervous for some reason, eyes flicking to Roman as he shakily picked up the neon laces and considering them with a focused expression. 

Roman could only wonder what was going through the man's head, as he was uncharacteristically quiet.

After managing to knot the two laces together, Remus genuinely seemed perplexed. He made the laces into two loops, then let them go, relooped them and stared at them as though expecting the laces to help him out. 

Did he… _Not know how to tie his laces?_ Why did that make Roman feel warm inside? 

"Shit! Fuck it!" 

Remus seemed to have lost patience, stuffing the laces into his shoes with an aggravated huff. Remus' head snapped up, as though remembering Roman was there, and caught him red handed as the actor openly stared.

Before Roman could begin to rectify the situation Remus lept up, suddenly angered - and probably more than a little embarrassed - looking much more like the intimidating, demented director Roman was used to as he pointed wildly at the door. 

"Get out! _GET THE FUCK OUT **RIGHT NOW!"**_

Sensing he'd overstayed his tedious welcome, Roman quickly scurried out, making sure to shut the door on the way out to give him some privacy. A few lingering staff gave him pitying looks for having to face Remus' temper. 

Roman found himself idly fretting if he has a job anymore. 

* * *

Remus seethed, no longer able to continue working, pacing frantically as he fought the thrall of sinking into littlespace. That stupid caregiver had him on edge, soft eyes watching him in pity as he failed to do his laces. 

He felt like the stupid baby he swore to never be, and it honestly shook him up. Checking the clock, he had twenty minutes before the end of lunch before he'd have to face Roman again. 

Roman had completely fucked with his head, his stupid little side reacting to the man's caregiver hormones and craving comfort after being shoved down for months. He couldn't bare the thought of getting caught out. Remus hates, no, despises how littles are treated. They weren't allowed jobs or to live on their own - and they certainly aren't allowed to make gory horror films. 

Remus had paid a pretty penny in getting a doctor to tamper his classification documents and provide him drugs to subdue his little pheromones, else a caregiver sniff him out in an instant. Unfortunately it didn't work in reverse, and catching so much as a wiff of a caregiver had baby Remus practically pining. 

Oh, and another thing that was just fantastic- as a little, Remus fell on the spectrum of being just about as young as possible, as if Remus couldn't feel anymore _useless_. The thought of depending on someone wholeheartedly was scarier than any monster Remus could possibly create. 

Shaking his head to dispel these thoughts, he set about trying to sort his head out while he still had time. Spying the can of Monster he'd abandoned this morning, Remus surged forward and drank it like a lifeline, not letting up until he'd drained it. Cringing, he tossed it in the bin. It tasted absolutely disgusting, but that was the point - it was uncomfortable to the point it scared off regression. So, if Remus kept himself as uncomfortable as possible, he'll never regress, and no one will find out, and he can continue imitating a Beta/Neutral adult. 

_At least, that's the plan_ He thought, a little manic as his stomach began to heave. 

He could never manage to stomach the energy drinks for long, littles aren't designed to consume anything strong- Caffine, alcohol, taurine, processed sugars, most littles couldn't even stomach spices but Remus was proud to be the rare exception and made a show of coating his bi-weekly meals in ludicrous amounts of hot sauce in hopes of further cementing how much Remus Frickin Dahmer is **not** a little. 

Remus retched into a near by storage tub, vomiting and vomiting until he was bringing up thick chunks of bile, then even more until he was out of bile and just bringing up a clear throth. 

It always burned so much. 

He wanted to cry. 

_He needed a cuddle._

Despite this, Remus righted himself once he was done vomiting, staring at the contained mess and idly considering the merits of using his own vomit as prop on set. 

His musings were cut short by his favourite itty bitty mic operator, Talyn, knocking before entering and quietly telling him they're ready on set whenever he is. 

Remus sighed deeply, wiping the vomit from his face and pushing down the festering desire to have Roman get him all clean and cuddled after such an icky experience. 

He dumped the tub of vomit in the bin - it's probably a health risk or some shit, no point getting his crew ill by covering them in actual vomit. 

Idly thinking about how nice and cosy his jacket was in the chilly afternoon, Remus jerked to attention. _This is no time to get comfortable you **fucking moron.**_

Smacking himself a few times in the head as punishment, Remus quickly removed the snug jacket and was greeted by the familiar and safe feeling of being miserable and, more importantly, too uncomfortable to drop. 

Shuddering a sigh, Remus made his way to set, already knowing this was going to be a painfully long filming day. 


	2. Why you shouldn't do B+E in your boss' trailer.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman lacks subtlety or braincells, unable to smell the little right under his nose. 
> 
> Remus seems to be allergic to treating himself with basic human decency.
> 
> They really need Omega Patton to sift through this nonsense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long! I had exams for Animal Welfare and Biology!
> 
> Triggers for this chapter-
> 
> Self loathing, Swearing, Remus typical thoughts, hurting ones self as punishment, harmful stimming, painful injuries (burn)

Remus was ready to keel over by the time he called it a wrap, it _was_ around eleven pm and Remus knew damn well that people of his _classification_ were intended to go to bed incredibly early. Still, truth sheer spite and force of will, Remus had thoroughly fucked his sleep schedule up to such an extent he was accustomed to sleeping in intervals no greater than three hours at times that differ greatly from night to night.

Still, accustomed didn't mean _happy_ and his body made its protests well and truly heard in a deep-bone ache that made Remus want to curl up on something soft and sleep for days.

Blinking the little thoughts away, Remus focused on making it to his trailer, staggering slightly on the platform boots he had to wear daily- after all, it wouldn't do to have a world famous horror director barely reaching 5-foot-2-inches, now would it?

As Remus unlocked his trailer, he began lazily tugging his clothes off, dropping them haphazardly on the floor. Stinky added to his aesthetic. Plus he had no idea how to wash his clothes, and the nervousness of trying to figure out the noisy washing machine had drawn out his little side on more than one occasion.

The last thing to be removed was his fake mustache - as cliché and stupid as it sounds for someone in disguise to wear one, the porn-star ‘tache coupled with his grungy make up stopped people from noticing how soft and babyish his face was. Plus, littles couldn't grow any facial or body hair, so it made him feel the tiniest bit safer.

Remus stood buck-naked, only comfortable with all the drawn curtains, grabbing a ratty-ass towel before going to grab a shower- unfortunately for him it needed to be icy cold so he didn't _relax_ under the stream. Stepping in and slamming the shitty shower onto the coldest setting, never managing to _not_ flinch at the uncomfortableness, the regrettably little part of him causing Remus to squirm and whine in discomfort before he reminded himself to stop being such a little bitch with a harsh scratch of his upper-inner arms.

Just as his chest stopped heaving in panic, baby Remus submitting sadly to the numbing cold, Remus could hear the distinct noise of his trailer door being pushed open, all his hanging jewellery clattering as the voice of his lead man rang out.

* * *

"Remus? Are you here? You left your satchel on set"

Perhaps breaking into your boss' trailer wasn't the smartest move on his part, but Roman was eager to make amends with the director after upsetting him so much earlier. Plus, a part of him preened at the thought of helping the director out, even if Roman wasn't sure _why_ he was so eager. He only normally got this way when around a little, but the cranky director was somehow itching his caregiver instincts despite being a neutral.

Glancing around the trailer, Roman couldn't help but pull a face. It was an absolute mess, and reeked of energy drinks and, more concerningly, vomit. He took a hesitant step deeper into the trailer.

"Remus? Buddy?"

Roman cringed at the term of endearment. His caregiver was leaking out and he didn't know how to stop it. He could hear shuffling in the bathroom and made his way over, increasingly concerned as he heard someone slip and land harshly.

"Remus? Are you okay?" he asked, praying the director would just _ask_ for his help.

Alas, there was no verbal response, just a lot of muffled cursing and shuffling before the door was slid open.

Remus looked much shorter, only reaching Roman's mid chest. He knew the director often wore heeled boots, but he had no idea how much extra height they were giving him.

The man was still very much wet from his shower, a red mark on his head making Roman feel like shit as he realised his admittedly rude entrance must have startled him so much he slipped and banged his head.

He took a step forward to examine the injury, but Remus took a step back. His head was bowed, eyes firmly on his feet - he wasn't angry or yelling, he seemed scared and uncertain. It made it abundantly clear how many boundaries he must have crossed to make _Remus_ uncomfortable.

“Uh… I'm sorry,sir, um, your satchel?”

He held the tattered leather bag out, and Remus reached out painfully slow before quickly snatching it, cuddling it close in a manner that would be cute if he wasn't so clearly scared.

“Did you open it?” Remus asked, surprisingly gentle.

“No” He'd had a peek inside, but found nothing out of the ordinary. Remus didn't need to know that especially with how stressed he looked.

Remus simply nodded, still cradling the bag to his chest, in a similar way to how most littles cuddle their stuffies- it made Roman feel warm. It was then he noticed that his boss no longer had his iconic facial hair and had to physical bite his lip to stop an awed gasp, face rid of the garish mustache left the director looking awfully young. Somehow his eyes looked bigger, especially without the smeared eyeshadow, and his hair fresh out the shower was drying into angelic ringlets framing his face like a little cherub instead of being greased back like usual.

It was startling to see Remus so different, vulnerable and downright adorable. Roman still didn't really understand why the neutral put so much effort into looking like a creepy cookie, but now really wasn't the time to talk. Remus looked like he wanted nothing more than to slam the door shut and hide forever, so Roman backed up to give him space.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have barged in. Is your head alright?”

Reaching up to rub at the injured spot, Remus winced, the area most likely being painful to the touch - it was more concerning when his eyes began glistening with tears and Roman suddenly became nervous that he'd hit his head hard enough to do serious damage. Maybe that's why the man seemed so spaced out and quiet? Roman longed for his husband, the omega worked as a Nurse and would surely be able to assess him much better for signs of a concussion.

Regardless, Remus just nodded silently, shifting around in obvious discomfort. The poor director was shivering, and it made Roman realise that the bathroom had no condensation or steam despite the shower having just been on - had Remus had a cold shower? In the middle of winter?

Remus finally looked up and Roman was stunned by how _small_ he looked, in every sense of the word. He placed the satchel on the barren bed frame (not even a mattress! Where did Remus _sleep?)_ but kept a hand outstretched like he wanted to pick it up again. Then, he turned to Roman with his usual frown - though, without his usual get up it looked much more like a pouty baby.

“You sure do love overstaying your welcome, huh? Or are you done with how _cruel_ I treat you on set and are finally ready to put a knife through my stomach?”

It was clear he was attempting his usual creep out method to get Roman to leave, but the alpha wasn't really listening, too lost in the urge to scoop the beta up and cuddle him- but _why_ did he want to? He supposed it had been a while since he'd been able to indulge his caregiver side, so perhaps it was acting up at the first sight of someone remotely soft-looking. He should listen to his husband and spend a while volunteering at the local little centre to get some cuddling out of his system. Maybe then he'll stop making his boss so uncomfortable.

And his boss _was_ uncomfortable, trying to maintain his grumpy expression but it slipped to nervous every few seconds before returning. Realising his usual method wasn't working, Remus simply sighed and pointed at the door.

“ _I'm tired. Just get the fuck out and stop staring at me before I second guess my choice of casting you”_

Roman jolted at the, frowning but nodding. Remus had replaced lead actors mid production before, so he knew the man wasn't above it, though usually actors were changed if Remus found someone else who better suited the role or his vision for the film suddenly changed. These were no fault of the actors, but getting kicked off his first movie for being a _nuisance_ wouldn't do well for his career, so Roman wisely scurried off. He tried to apologise once more as he stood in the door, but Remus blanked him and didn't even spare him a glance, so he wisely decided to just leave.

* * *

Remus allowed himself a distressed whine once Roman had left, hand snaking up to yank at his hair as he willed his chest to calm down. He'd certainly fucked that up, but Roman didn't seem to be any wiser, and Remus thanked the stars that the actor was just as thick as his thighs were.

The little in disguise shifted around uncomfortably--he'd gotten dressed in a hurry, still very much wet and he wanted so badly to cry at the horrible texture as cotton clung to cold and wet, little beads of icy water dribbling down his body making him shiver more. He needed new clothes on, but he only had one pair of pyjamas.

Remus bit at his sleeves - slightly oversized and forming sweater paws that he chewed to fray - as he considered the conundrum. Maybe he could dry off and sleep naked? It'd be freezing, especially since the director didn't allow himself a blanket or even mattress to sleep on, too afraid any semblance of comfort could draw out his little side. Try and sneak some clothes from the set and sleep in them? Remus wasn't sure how to explain why he was wearing clothes from the movie, plus the costume crew would probably have a fit if their clothes showed up crinkled.

His panic was cut off by a cramp, his tummy- no, his _stomach_ growing wildly. For once, if only to procrastinating trying to solve a big problem while feeling so small, Remus conceded to eat something, even if he'd already eaten only _two and a half_ days ago. Greedy bitch.

Pulling the mini fridge open, he found only more energy drinks, a bottle of curry sauce, and two slices of pizza that he vaguely remembered Talyn shoving into his hands, demanding he gets something in his body _or else._ Talyn was so adorably threatening, and he loved them all the more for it.

With pizza seemingly the only option, even though he really shouldn't be eating such greasy foods, he dropped the slices onto a baking tray and shoved them in the oven.

Remus flopped onto the couch, groaning softly into the shitty, beat up cushions that quite frankly reeked. He nuzzled the pillows, whole body going boneless at the feeling of very mild comfort. Drifting slowly, Remus allowed his mind to wonder, thinking about the movie and production.

Remus was awfully excited to film; he always was, but this movie in particular felt like getting a weight off his chest. A way to vent about the constant paranoia pumping through his system, making his tummy feel like it was full of giant hissing cockroaches that were crawling around and trying to eat their way out. Coincidentally the exact same thing happened in the movie, though this time Remus had the pleasure of creating the prosthetics for such a scene and was excited for two weeks time when they were scheduled to have some roaches on set to do the scene. He was confident they'd be stellar little actors and steal the show from their lesser, human Co-stars.

Remus smiled at the thought of little cockroaches hoisting up an Emmy, hissing out an acceptance speech. He allowed himself to laugh at the thought, feeling marginally better.

Grabbing around for his phone, he decided to emmerse himself in some true crime to pass the time - plus, it was always good to get some new ideas. See, Remus never really did _breaks_ or _resting_ head always crammed with so many ideas, none really that pleasant, threatening to boil him alive if he didn't _create, create,_ **_CREATE!_ **

Time ticked on, the little engrossed in the morbid happenings when he began smelling _burnt._ He perked up instantly, panic starting a new when smoke began leaking from the oven- the pizza slices were burning!

Jumping to action, Remus kicked back to swing the door open, allowing the smoke to escape before surging forward, hurriedly turning the oven off before opening the door to see if any of the pizza was salvageable. Unfortunately Remus had forgoed any form of mitten or towel to shield his hand, so the instant he grabbed the tray he got a rather nasty burn.

**_“OWCH! Ow_ ** _ow owies-”_

He continued mumbling, cradling the hand gently as red skin started to form blisters along the heel of the palm and along his thumb. Remus tried to think of what to do, but was drawing a blank, mind too muddled. Vaguely he recalled the advice to run burns under cold water, but his legs gave out the instant he attempted to stand, dropping to his butt uselessly and stinging slightly.

It was seemingly the last straw as the little began crying, loud and earnest. He knew he should be quieter, but any attempts to stop caused his chest to heave even more, making him whine pitifully. Little Remus was practically begging to go find Roman, surely the strong caregiver would know what to do. But big Remus forced them still, shoving his head between his knees in an attempt to calm.

Eventually he'd cried himself dry and was calm enough to get up, but upon inspection of his palms it seemed it was too late to do anything. The injury was blistered, resembling wet tissue paper with thin dribbles of blood around it. The sight made him whine softly, wanting a caregiver even more.

But Remus was absolutely adamant he didn't need a caregiver, so the little sniffled miserably and curled up next to the meager warmth the oven was providing; door open and still wet, Remus somehow found sleep.

His stomach had stopped complaining, no doubt to be put off food for the next few days.


	3. Planning and Pleasantries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton is a man with a plan, and Remus meets a kind stranger at the store (and completely forgets what he was buying)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm alive!
> 
> Tw for; self injury, self hate, paranoia, unhealthy life style, brief but disgusting mention of injury, brief talk of being murdered.

Roman was quick to call his husband once he'd gotten in his car, waiting for the car to heat up as the phone rang.

Roman felt himself grin as Patton's face appeared on the car's smart screen, smiling so tenderly all for him

“Well, hello there, Mr Movie Star!” 

Roman chuckled softly, finally starting the engine. 

“Hello, dear, you look positively gorgeous! I'm just calling to say I'm on my way home now” 

Patton merely hummed, tilting his head in the way he does when catching a fibber. The actor shifted in his seat and pretended to be checking his mirrors. 

“Something is bothering you, sweetie. Please tell me”

“Nothing! It's just, um, I had a rather peculiar interaction with Director Remus just then and I'm not too sure what to make of it” 

“Have you upset your boss again?” The tone was light hearted but Roman still felt like a naughty child as he had to explain himself. 

“Well Remus had left his satchel on set, you see, and I was going to return it. He stays in a trailer on set while filming so I thought it wasn't much of a hassle! But I kind of didn't knock?” an irritated huff from his husband that he skillfully ignored, “Yes, yes, I need to remember to knock, but I didn't and Remus was actually showering? And, um, well my entrance startled him and he ended up slipping and banging his head.”

Patton gasped, frowning in empathy for the director that he'd never even met, turning into a scowl at his husband 

“Well, is he alright?” 

“That's the thing! He went weirdly quiet and was acting all shy, but, Pat, his mustache is fake!” 

“His _what?”_

“His mustache! The iconic mustache. He was totally baby faced when he got out the shower, no makeup or tache. I thought he might have shaved it for whatever reason, but his upper lip is slightly raw - because of the _glue_ he's using to keep it on! And he looks so different without it! He was tiny, as well, only about five-foot maybe five-one?”

Patton seemed to be thinking about something, mulling it over with that gorgeous pout of his. 

“You say Remus is a _Neutral_ right?” Roman nodded, everyone knows that! “and he was really tiny and no facial hair, a round face, and was suddenly really shy?” 

Roman nodded in confirmation of all points, but the look Patton was giving him suggested he was supposed to figure something out from those points alone. After a few seconds, Patton looked ready to give him the answer, but instead jolted, suddenly concerned. 

“Oh! You said he banged his head, is he alright? Did you get a compress for it, and make sure his vision was OK?” 

He smiled sheepishly at his husband. Those all sounded like good things that he probably should've done. 

“Well, I tried to get a good look at it. I'll concede that it appeared mighty painful, but he backed off as I tried to approach, and he was so scared that he appeared ready to cry- Pat, I managed to **scare** _Remus Frickin Dahmer_ by being a total creep! He wouldn't let me look at it."

Patton hummed to show he was listening, looking entirely focused and in 'nurse more' as Roman called it, reaching into his work bag and pulling out his paperwork folder--that was naturally covered in cat stickers, as was his laptop. He began writing, but Roman couldn't see what it was, and couldn't spend much time staring at the screen as he drove. 

After a moment, Patton spoke again, though seemingly made no attempt to explain himself 

"What happened after he came out of the bathroom?" 

"Well I handed his satchel back, of course! He stayed quiet, only asking if I'd gone through it."

Patton perked up at that, "Did you? Do you know what was in the bag?" 

_What's with all the questions? The Omega had surely figured something out but Roman had no clue_

"I told him I hadn't but… I'd only peaked in. Nothing interesting, wallet, keys, phone, a few notebooks, and something at the bottom covered in fabric - probably a jacket. I was kind of expecting something weird--like a severed head or a dildo or something Remus-y but no, it was surprisingly boring."

Patton didn’t seem happy with that answer, slumping in his seat slightly, gazing out the window in thought and rapping his pen lightly. Roman tutted at the dejected display, 

“Something is bothering _you._ I’m nearly home now, but I’m going to stop at a service station first. How about I buy you some of them honey-cookies, you and Thomas get all cozy on the couch and we’ll discuss it?”

His husband shot up, smiling widely at the promise of his favourite dessert, and Roman chuckled fondly at him.

* * *

When Roman got home, he was greeted by his husband still in work mode, holding his phone while the kitchen island he was sat at was covered in papers and his work laptop was off to the side. Roman coughed slightly, used to be greeted enthusiastically at the door. Today, however, Patton just smiled and signaled him to be quiet, pointing at the phone that was on speaker and seemingly on hold, before wordlessly going back to scribbling on paper. Even their excitable puppy was preoccupied, laying next to Patton's seat and matching his focused and quiet energy. Strange.

Deciding to speak with Patton later, as trying to pull him away from work right now was a practice in futility, Roman shrugged, placing the pack of cookies on the side and going upstairs to get dressed. Once showered, shaven, moisturised, and dressed, Roman pulled back the covers and climbed into the lavishly sized bed. His husband's side was pristine, as Patton always cuddled up with him, on the left. 

He reached for the bedside table, intent on going over his script lines just to be certain - although he felt his heart sink slightly in somberness as he realised he hadn't grabbed his script but a discarded catalogue for littles. 

The situation was sore for the couple - the two very much wanted a little one of their own, and someone with caregiver as their primary classification such as Patton should really be first in line for someone to care for but his job as a Little Specialist Nurse meant the registry considered his needs already met and the couple was bumped down the list. As for Roman, everyone he filed an appeal to become a priority to adopt, he'd be emailed a list of nurseries and kindergartens he could volunteer at to indulge his instincts. 

Another roadblock for their application was Patton's very firm insistence that he needed someone with primary classification being little, and he needed a _baby._ 0-6 month classifications were rare, and highly sought after. Most well off couples pay a fortune to have any first dibs on tinies (as they're lovingly nicknamed) and if any fall through the cracks into the regular registry list they're snapped up instantly by those at the top. Still, Roman never got frustrated at his husband's unwillingness to move on an age range, even if it hindered their adoption process tremendously- he understood and even agreed that Patton _needed_ someone so teeny tiny to release his rampant mothering-instinct on. 

Frankly, the couple were incredibly well off, and considering joining the circle of elites that got first pick, despite having moral issues with the whole practice and mentality that richer couples equal better or more ennept parents. They came to an agreement that after Roman was done filming for this movie, they'd be able to leverage a significant amount of wealth and notoriety from being star to hopefully get a little. 

The plan inspired so much passion from the Caregiver, who threw himself into magazines and catalogues such as this one to find his ideal nursery. They were undecided on the gender of the baby, not that it ultimately mattered, and decided to hold off on decorating until they've gotten to know the baby. After all, even at such a young age they have preferences and styles, the two wanted a theme that the little would suit and fit perfectly well in. 

  
  


That's not to say they weren't prepared, the two had purchased all the furniture the little one could need, in a natural pale wood so it can be painted any colour. Thomas, their lovable golden retriever, was not only the bestest boy, but had earned all three of his certificates to become a Littles Service Dog, suitable for all ages. 

Caregivers used the dogs to ensure their little one didn't regress somewhere dangerous when out and about, most littles only allowed out alone if they had a pup with them. Also, Thomas would be sleeping in the nursery, and would come alert them if the baby needed them - for a change or feed or if they're just fussy. 

Roman knew his dog was incredible, he'd seen so when they'd baby sat for one of Roman's close friends and understudy. His little girl was the cutest thing, her and Thomas getting on so well. Unfortunately that single night of babysitting had upset Patton - and deep down, himself - greatly as they ached for a little of their own. 

_Soon,_ Roman reminded himself with a steadying breath, _soon_

Patton finally appeared in the doorway, smiling shy and guilty at having ignored his husband for so long. He made his way to the joined bathroom and emerged minuets later ready for bed, looking like an angel in Roman's shirt, gorgeously chubby thighs bare as he just wore his underwear. He was smiling kindly as he crawled under the covers to cuddle up to Roman, laughing as the familiar weight of Thomas joined the bottom of the bed and the dog began his nightly ritual of investigating the bed for the perfect spot to sleep (and picking the same spot every time). His laughter died down when he noticed what Roman was holding, face pinched in concealed discomfort, so he quickly tucked the catalogue away. He wanted to apologise, but his husband beat it to him, announcing;

"I'm coming with you to work, tomorrow. Volunteering as the on site nurse." 

Roman blinked, before smiling widely and giving him a sweet kiss. 

"That's great! You won't be sneaking out of my arms at five am to start your shift" 

Patton simply chuckled at that and nuzzled into his alpha's collar bone, breathing in the comforting scent, kissing the pheromone gland. Roman's breath hitched, but Patton pulled away before the two could get steamed up, booping Roman on the nose teasingly

"I'll also be able to watch over you, so you don't upset your boss anymore" 

He chuckled at his husband's sheepish look. 

* * *

Curled up, freezing cold, next to the oven and with that biting cold from the open trailer door - Remus' nap didn't last very long, discomfort over powering exhaustion after less than an hour, leaving the little disoriented and cranky as he tried to grab to counter to haul himself up. Unfortunately he used the still-very-much-blistered hand to do so, and ended up making a noise he was none too proud of, chest heaving but with no tears left to cry. 

_Why did everything have to suck?_

After a moment to recollect himself, forcing his little side back into the repression corner, Remus managed to stand up, flapping his hands and whining in distress.

Everything hurts, and he wanted to go home. He hated trailers. He pulled on his hair with his non-owchie hand until it hurt too much and he had to let go, gripping a small handful of loose hairs - before restarting the process. 

It was one am, but he couldn't sleep now. 

_Get dressed, go for a walk. The cold will wake you up, and make the baby shut up._

Nodding silently, he made his way to the built in wardrobe and began selecting. First, an undershirt with slight muscle padding built in - it made him look less like a pathetic, bony little whelp, and more like a skinny crack-head. He wriggled into tight faux-leather jeans before adding a thick studded belt that did nothing but make him look slightly less approachable. Remus pulled on a heavily distressed, neon green cropped top over the undershirt, before also putting on his well-worn leather jacket. On his feet, his iconic mosher boots - reaching just below the knee, with neon green laces, decorated with charms of eyeballs clipped onto the decorative chains, and of course the six inch platforms that made Remus feel considerably less vulnerable. 

The last step was the most important, grabbing his makeup bag and fake mustache. His own personal mask, white fountain and smeared black hiding all traces of softness. Facial hair to prove he's _definitely_ _not_ what he's so scared of being revealed as. 

His hair was still curly, but he didn't fancy trying to straighten it with an already nasty burn, so he pulled a green beanie over it. Looking at his injured hand once more, he hissed instinctively so he didn't _cry._ It looked disgusting, around the blisters was white, flecks of green on the outside like mold in a petri dish. The actual blisters were yellow and red, like someone had bled into a bowl of curdled custard. 

There was no way he'd be able to look at that for too long, so he grabbed a pair of fingerless leather gloves and slid them on, tasting blood at how hard he was biting his lip to not _scream and cry_ like he truly wanted to. 

He spent a good while wiggling his fingers, rocking back and forth as he watched the digits move. The fingers on his burnt hand couldn't move much without pain, but he couldn't not move them. A particularly cold chill ran up his leg, making Remus realise the trailer door was still open. Anyone could've come in, murderers or thieves or werewolves or fucking _Roman_ again. He knows which one he'd hate the most. 

Blinking again, mentally cursing for letting himself get so distracted, Remus grabbed his wallet, keys, and phone before making his way out the trailer. The store was forty minuets away, hopefully the numbing cold would make him more alert. 

* * *

  
  


About half an hour into the walk, and Remus was even more miserable, and now scared. It was nearly three am, so everything was quiet, the few people he walked past were scary - even if his punkish attire and practised scowl kept him from any trouble. 

Side streets and alleys were the scariest, his brain providing vivid thoughts of being stabbed, bleeding out, and having that be his legacy. The thought made his body tingle like pins and needles, and he sped up. 

The sign glowed bright, standing out against the darkness and taking a load of his chest, anxiety easing as he cut across the car park and entered. It was bright, which made him a little cranky, but the heaters were on and warmed him up - he was so cold that the mild heating was burning, but he relished in the discomfort. 

Beelining for the beverages, he began filling a basket with more energy drinks and sodas, careful of his injury. There was only one other person in the aisle, but of course with Remus' luck, it was another caregiver - stocking up on caprisun, it seemed. Remus sped up, but of course they still approached. 

"Hello! Do you how do?" 

Remus raised a brow, 

"Uh, what?" 

Then simply chuckled, pushing up their glasses. 

"it's from Spongebob, and, oh, nevermind. I guess you couldn't sleep, either, huh?"

Remus nodded numbly, following their line of sight to his basket. Normal people had conversations, he can do this. 

"Um, yeah, just need a caffeine boost, I guess…" wait, he really didn't want a lecture about chugging red bull, um- "You craving caprisun or something?" 

They smiled warmly, and Remus couldn't help but instinctively relax in their presence. It was the exact opposite of being around Roman. 

"Oh, no, I'm getting them for my roommate, Elliot, they're a little, too! But they have trouble sleeping most nights, but tonight it's real bad so I'm getting some snacks and we're gonna watch some Steven Universe." 

Remus nodded along, warmed by the caregiver's compassion. Most would've just given the little a 'night night' bottle and be done with it. Wait. They were insinuating something - 

" That's… That's real nice, but uh, I'm not a little. I'm neutral. "

The caregiver simply smiled, not looking at all surprised - or convinced - about his correction. A hand reached out, smile still tender and so understanding. 

"Of course. I'm Emile Picani. He/Him. Very nice to meet you."

Remus slowly took the offered hand, switching half way through so as to not use the injured one. Luckily Emile noticed the switch, and also changed hands so Remus didn't have to awkwardly shake the back of his hand. 

"Remus Dahmer. Uh, he/him as well. Nice to know there's a fellow 3am-impulse-buyer." 

Emile laughed, making Remus smile on instinct, shifting around shyly. He was so dangerously close to throwing himself into this caregiver's arms, and Emile seemed to realise this too, shifting his basket to the side to accommodate any embrace the apparently-obvious-little may want. 

Instead, Remus just smiled, staying right where he was, relieved when Emile didn't get upset or insist, humming happily before looking around as though checking the coast was clear, stage whispering to Remus, 

"How about we go raid the sweets section? You can't pull an all-nighter without them" 

Remus really wanted to say no, still wanting to stick to his 'no comforts' rule, but this man was simply magnetic. He nodded slowly, not even noticing as Emile took his uninjured hand to lead him off, abandoning his basket full of energy drinks on the floor as they made their way to the sweets aisle. The caregiver talked, conversation light and never pressuring Remus to contribute as he filled his own basket with cookies and chocolaty things. He'd occasionally offer Remus some snack, but Remus would just shake his head while rubbing his eyes with the back of his spare hand, not noticing the small whines he was letting out as the lights began to hurt his eyes even more and make his headache worse. At this point, Emile stood a little closer, humming gently

"OK, I think we're both done, hmm? You look pretty sleepy, maybe you'll be able to get some sleep now? C'mon"

The two made their way to the check out, Remus snapping out of his soft haze as he approached the cashier, scolding himself mentally

_Holding a caregiver's hand in_ **_public?_ ** _Do you want to get caught?! You're a fucking idiot. You don't even know him. He's probably a serial killer, gonna chop you up into little pieces and -_

Emile payed for his food and drinks and Remus silently followed him out, completely forgetting that he'd intended to buy drinks. He almost walked into him, stopped by two warm hands on his shoulders and he looked up at the gentle smile before blinking as some notes materialised in front of him, the caregiver still smiling so gentle. 

"Here. Get a taxi home, you look ready to fall asleep on your feet, so you shouldn't be walking, and the buses have stopped until six" 

Remus blinked once, twice before the words caught up to him and he took a step back, 

"I… I have money, you don't have to-" 

The other simply smiled still, taking a step forward and placing the money in Remus' hand. 

"I know, but. Please. It'll ease a load off my chest, knowing you're ok , Okay?" 

The little took a deep breath and nodded, trembling minutely as a rush of difficult - but surprisingly pleasant - emotions washed over him. 

As Emile got in his car and drove away with his shopping, and while Remus waited for his taxi to show up, he allowed himself the small pleasure of musing about having a caregiver that makes him feel as nice as Emile did. Not that he really deserved one. Although he did take a nap once he got back, if only because he knew Emile would appreciate that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone 18+ is welcome to join this discord! You'll see me pretty active on there, and be able to chat to me in between updates, I'd like to think I'm a fun person to talk to~~
> 
> https://discord.gg/jryAWGpD2r
> 
> other than that, I've got a lot of course work to do, and even more has been added to accommodate the cancelling of exams across the UK. Also the dog I grew up with and love more than I love myself is very old and very sick. Updating will be slow, but I have no plans to abandon this story. 
> 
> Thank you for reading :)


	4. Treatment Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nurse Patton has a revelation and begins to form a plan! 
> 
> Remus doesn't know which way is up anymore, and by some miracle didn't drop, even when the pushy nurse was using the caregiver-pheromones equivalent of chloroform to try and make him regress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is a little sloppy, I got fixated on finishing and its now half four in the morning XD
> 
> Tw for treating wounds and collapse

Remus was awoken at nine-fifteen am, surprisingly getting a whole five hours of sleep under his belt after the pleasant meeting with Emile, by rapid knocking at the door and the voice of Talyn right outside his door. 

"Remus? C'mon, man, you're normally creeping around the set by now, what are you doing in there?" 

The little jerked up, looking down at himself. He was still fully dressed, shoes and all, and a glance in the mirror told him that by some miracle his makeup and facial hair had remained intact. He felt very warm, though, his head felt like static and his eyes wouldn't focus on anything. It was...a nuisance but maybe some painkillers could help him power through the day. 

"Ree? Are you like… OK in there? Should I call someone?" 

Snapping out his musings, Remus launched himself out his bed with the utmost clumsiness, practically gliding to the door before swinging it open, almost smacking Talyn square in the face if not for their quick reflexes. 

"Oh, shit! Sorry, Tal. I'm here, I'm good. I was just, uh, well I was actually...Asleep, for once. I just crashed on the bed and woke up right now."

Talyn paused, looking quite sad, and Talyn looking sad made Remus _feel_ sad by default. 

"Ree, if I'd have known you were getting some rest I would've left you to it until at least lunch. Do you think you'll be able to get sleep again if I leave? You're not looking too good" 

Remus shook his head while rolling his shoulders to dispel some of the aches trapped in them. Talyn knew about his insomnia to an extent, knew he'd go days without rest, sliding in naps and never being able to rest for more than a few hours. They'd even figured out of their own volition that it was paranoia based; an inability to settle the mind due to constant fear of attack. Although they didn't know the cause of the paranoia, about Remus being a little in hiding, and he imagined that they probably assumed he was crazy or on something - which he supposed was a valid conclusion. 

Talyn huffed dejectedly, stepping aside so Remus could get out "Sorry about that. I was scared you'd tripped and banged your head, or something" 

_Funny you should say that_ Remus mused, his head was very much bruised from the shower, an ugly purple tapering off into blue, so Remus had to cover it with foundation and generous application of concealer, wincing at the contact. It stung like a bitch, and Remus mused about whether he was concussed, or bleeding on the brain. It'd be for the best, maybe he'd get to die dramatically and then Roman would get put in prison forever just for being the worst. 

He could dream. 

Remus patted Talyn's back as they went their separate ways, Remus beelining to get a coffee. Before he could, however, he found himself intercepted by a man he'd never met before, smiling just a bit too wide to be innocent. He didn't even need to catch a scent to know he was a caregiver, he was wearing the scrubs of a little-specialist nurse (a baby blue set, with little Teddy bears covering it - Remus had to bite back the urge to stroke the material) 

He backed up, dizzy and instantly on edge. Logically, he knew why the man was most likely here. The production team needs a medic on standby, especially when practical effects are being performed, and the nurses that show up are rotated. It was only a matter of time before a specialist nurse was sent, but Remus couldn't help wondering if the universe hates him. 

"Well, Hello there! You must be the director," the nurse took a step forward, invading his personal space once more. "My name is Patton! I'm one of the nurses here for this week, make sure no one is hurt or ill. You can come to me for anything, yeah? Even just a chat." 

Remus blinked slowly, head fuzzy with the amount of pheromones this guy was making, trying to lull any little in a ten-foot radius to regress. He had to get away. He tilted his head up - still a head shorter with the platforms on - and slapped on his usual, uninviting expression, 

"The nurses aren't usually this chatty. You're just here to make sure no one dies in set, we're not going to be _friends"_

Annoyingly Patton wasn't put off at all, same smile on his face. 

"Just wanted to make sure everyone knows they can come to me! But not only that, I noticed you seem a little poorly. Would you mind having a seat so I can take a look?" 

Am instant indignation bubbled in his chest. Of course the caregiver was attracted to his pathetic state, he loathed to be the center of this man’s pity

" Do yourself a favour and go crawl back to your nurse's corner, " he jabbed a finger harshly in the direction of the medical corner "wait until someone _actually_ needs you and quit fucking bothering me" 

* * *

While Patton certainly didn't appreciate the rude language he certainly couldn't hold it against the little one. If his theory was correct and Remus has been hiding his classification then he must be feeling downright miserable at the moment. Not to mention he _did_ look rather ill, beads of sweat slowly lifting his makeup off. He must love playing dress up! But Patton wasn't too sure if them shoes were safe for tottling in. 

Regardless, he needed to get the little one's bum in a seat. 

Patton lifted his arms up non-threateningly, allowing soothing pheromones to coat the air between them - he hadn't showered this morning, or used any sprays, the scent should be rather strong. Remus' shoulders lowered at an almost imperceptible amount, rather dizzy on his feet. 

"Okay, Okay Remus. I'm not trying to upset you, it's just that you look a little unwell. Do you feel poorly?" 

If Patton wasn't watching with the utmost attention, he'd never have noticed the slight shimmer in his eyes as Remus ducked his head to nod. Wordlessly, the nurse unfolded a chair next to the director and eased his body into it. Very warm. 

Had he caught a cold? Patton made a vague hum as he searched his work bag, producing a tympanic thermometer. 

"This is going to sit comfy in your ear, then it'll give a little beep and I'll be able to know how warm you are."

Remus simply shifted in his seat, so Patton set to work, very gently tucking the _adorable_ mass of curls behind the ear before placing the device in. His patient wriggled slightly, jerking as it beeped. Once removed, Remus rubbed frantically at the ear, using his shoulder while whining quietly. Patton resisted the urge to soothe him, 

"Oh bother. Thirty nine point seven. That's not very nice,huh? Do you have any other symptoms to be concerned about; funny tummy? Headache? Runny or stuffy nose?" 

Clearly affected by the light baby talk, Remus cleared his throat and spoke, 

"My, My head is - wait, no. Stop. Are you nearly done? I'm, kinda shooting a movie, y'know. This can surely wait" 

Patton almost smiled; littles rarely had much patience. It must be hard for him to sit still, especially without anything to play with. He reached down to pick Remus' hand up, trying for soothing. It was very much not soothing, as Remus let out a _scream_ as he threw himself off his chair - landing with a thud on his butt, whining while cradling the hand Patton had tried to hold. 

The crew were now all looking at them in shock, and honestly Patton was just as shocked. He snapped out of it when he saw tears in his little patient's eyes, and managed to lock eyes with the bright haired person he'd been talking to earlier, and had nicely pestered into going to retrieve the director. He sent them a small nod, then made a broad sweeping gesture, and they seemed to understand 

"Alright, everyone out! Out! The nurse is with him, no need to crowd." 

With some more shepherding, the crew out the room and closing the chipped double doors behind them. Patton let out a sigh of relief and made to rectify the situation - Remus had recovered from whatever pain Patton had unknowingly caused and seemed to be figuring out how to get out this situation, no doubt planning to blow up at Patton and try to storm out. He needed to nip that in the bud. 

Crouched on Remus' level, Patton held out a hand with a soft smile. 

"I'm really sorry," and he was "May I look at your hand? It's clearly quite sore." 

An internal battle broke out within Remus that Patton patiently waited through, plopping on his bottom to hopefully help the little relax. At a tedious pace a hand was slowly offered to Patton, covered in fingerless gloves and quite obviously shaking. The nurse's heart swelled with pride at the little's bravery as he slid on a pair of his own gloves, gently holding his wrist to begin to manoeuvre the garment off. The first roadblock was the fabric, completely stuck, and any small tug causing hisses of pain. Hmm. He reached for a pair of medical scissors.

"What happened to your hand, huh?"

Remus tore his gaze away to look at Patton, scrunching his nose up in distaste "It's all burned. It looked gross so I covered it with a glove." 

Patton tutted as he began cutting the leather up the back of his hand - Remus obviously needs a mummy or a daddy as soon as possible, he shouldn't have been left on his own for so long, sweet thing. 

" Owch. That doesn't sound very nice, how did you burn it?" 

"I tried reheating some food, and when I grabbed the tray it was… Real hot" 

Poor baby. 

With the fabric cut, all that was left was to pull it off, but it was going to be painful, as the leather was practically welded into the wound.

"Ooh, I bet that hurt. What did you do after that?" 

"I fell asleep for a bit but woke up in the middle of the night and went out-AHH!" 

Patton winced at the cry, having just bitten the bullet and yanked at the material while Remus was distracted. The wound underneath was nasty, and bordering on infection. It was also likely the cause of his fever. 

Remus was full blown pouting, trying to pull his wrist back and stubbornly refusing to acknowledge the tears leaking out his eyes at the no-doubt intense pain - painful for anyone, but for a little it must be horrible. Patton was hoping he'd just regress then and there; he knew how to deal with littles, having to treat one like an adult left a sour taste in Patton's mouth and he wanted nothing more than to scoop the hurting boy up and cuddle him but, 

But at the moment Remus was stubborn in refusing to regress, and Patton didn't have definitive proof of his classification, so doing so would be grounds for a harassment charge. 

"I'm sorry, but I needed to get that off. It's going to hurt while I take care of it," Remus whined, high pitch and stressed and Patton scanned to check for a drop, mentally cursing as Remus was still _somehow_ fighting it off "Would you like some help for the pain? I carry some stuffies around for patients to cuddle" 

A stuffed rabbit was held up enticingly by the nurse, who was overjoyed as Remus slowly reached out to take it. Joy was cut short as Remus abruptly snapped out of it, the accepting hand turning around to smack himself fiercely in the side of the head, fingers digging into yank at his curls. Patton's stress levels shot up in concern, but Remus halted him from any action with a poisonous glare, 

"I don't need a _fucking toy._ I'm not a little, stop trying to treat me like one." 

Clearly the little was way too stressed. Irritability, amongst many other things, was a symptom of ignoring the biological urge to regress. With a deep sigh, Patton placed the stuffed toy down and grabbed to tubes of cream, using a more neutral tone to speak. 

"OK, OK. What I'm going to do now, is apply _this_ creme to numb your hand, and then _this_ as an antiseptic. Then I'll bandage your hand and then you can go. Is that fair?" 

Shoulders dropped slightly as Remus calmed and acquiesced, staying still as Patton applied the numbing gel with absolute gentleness. 

" It might be easier to look away from it,"

Remus scoffed at that, "Have you seen my movies? Gore is kind of my _thing_ " despite this he turned his head away from Patton and the injured hand, focusing on a laptop that had been left open- the animated screensaver had grabbed his attention and served as a distraction as Patton pulled an extra item out the bag. He needed to be quick. 

It was a very new piece of technology, so much so that someone not in the medical field would be very unlikely to know about it. It looked and worked much like a glucometer, though this time pricking the finger was able to get a reading of the person's _classification._ Currently it could only read the primary classification, so if Remus was secondary his whole plan would fall apart and he'd need to do a full blown blood test to confirm. Regardless he was willing to take the risk, and after ensuring he'd numbed the finger adequately with a few testing pokes, he pressed the small device into the centre of the finger to draw blood, swiftly applying a band-aid converted in jungle animals, watching closely for a reaction. Remus didn't even seem to have noticed, off in a little daydream. 

Patton dressed the wound carefully as he awaited the results, instinctively squeezing Remus' wrist comfortingly. When he looked down, Patton was pretty much _expecting_ the little classification to be displayed. 

And there it was, **_LTL_ **\- no doubt now that Remus was a little. 

But, the device could also detect the age group. Patton had been expecting 2-4 yrs. It was the most common regression age, and Remus definitely seemed like a stroppy toddler. 

His heart stopped at the tiny, unmistakable numbers displaying - **_0 yrs_ **

_A baby_

Remus was an honest to god baby, and the stars couldn't have aligned any better. This was it, Patton's chance to have the baby he's always _craved._ A chance to give poor Remus as much love and attention as possible to make up for the system failing him. He felt tears in his eyes, choked at the prospect that this tiny little baby could be his. No, _would be._

Determined, he quickly sealed the device in a sterile bag, sealing it in and hiding it in his bag as evidence later. Right, he'd need to make some planning for this. 

"Okay, Remus, we're all done. Go easy on that hand, yeah?" 

Blinking, Remus looked around blearily for the source of the noise before settling on Patton. It took a few more seconds for him to digest the words, standing up to leave - 

Only to have his legs fold completely, nearly having a nasty fall if Patton hadn't caught him, shouting slightly in surprise. 

It wasn't a faint, but Patton was still concerned, speaking gently 

"Oh bother, you're not having the best of luck today are you?" Remus only responded with a groan, butting his head on the nurse's shoulder "Hmm. Yeah. You're not going to be able to work today, I'll walk you back to your trailer. You need rest, and I'll make you some food - you clearly haven't been eating, bub"

Remus let out a half cry, sagging more "I tried!" and Patton wanted to kiss him on the head cause, yeah, the baby tried so very hard but he shouldn't have _had to_ be cooking his own meals. Really, he shouldn't be on solid foods if he's tiny. 

Through the doors, the crew had mostly dispersed to menial tasks or scrolling on phones, though Talyn perked up immediately and stopped what they were doing, making their way over. Patton smiled, a little strained, fighting the urge to run away with the baby right now.

"Shit, Re. You're not looking too hot. Is he OK?" the last part directed was directed at Patton, who nodded 

"I think he needs today off, but he's doing well. I'm gonna get him some food and water, could you direct me to his trailer so he can rest?" 

Talyn was seemingly very enthused about Remus finally being forced to take care of himself, and Patton smiled at the thought of how good friends they must be. He wondered briefly if Talyn was aware, but dismissed the thought. No friend, or even no _good person_ would hide such a secret. It's practically allowing that person to suffer! Littles need caregivers to be there always, providing snuggles and warm and helping soothe them when they start acting silly like they're adults. 

Patton silently stripped Remus down - once Talyn had left the room - and tutted at the lack of padding. Regardless, he tucked Remus in, allowing himself to daydream a future where this was their nightly routine, tucking in blankets and stroking his cheek while Remus drifts off with a cute little dummy in his mouth. It'll be perfect. 

With that in mind, Patton gently shut the trailer door after spending a good few minutes watching Re sleep. 

He had some phone calls to make. 


	5. The thing in the title happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone but Remus decides what's best for Remus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's happening, this is not a drill!
> 
> Gonna pray the emojis work -
> 
> Tw; abduction, crying, brief spider mention, stress-related meltdown, police presence, and police physically grabbing someone (although it isn't rough) 
> 
> Let met know if I've missed anything!

Patton sat in a small conference room he'd found within the studio building. Unfortunately for him, the cast were seemingly using it as extra storage for some props, so the entophobic nurse had to work nestled between a collection of molds of his husband's face - Roman's character was going through some pretty nasty stuff, so the molds would serve as a base to apply some nasty practical effects - and some massive spider legs that reached the ceiling. It was rather distressing, but he did his best to blank it out. 

It had been difficult to shoo his husband away, but eventually Roman had gone home with the intention of taking Thomas on a long walk as an apology for missing last night's walk. The cast and crew were told to go home for the day since Remus had unexpectedly come down with a sickness - no one seemed surprised, which made Patton a little irritated; if they knew Remus took such terrible care of himself, little or not, why did they just let it go? 

_'Some people just don't care'_ was Patton's instinctive, bitter first thought, and he scowled at his paperwork for a moment. 

It was a little past three pm, and Patton had been working hard. After making the baby some chicken noodle soup (resisting the urge to feed him himself, especially how he kept shaking and spilling it on himself, needing a new shirt) and plain crackers, and stuffing him with as much water as he could manage, the nurse tucked him into bed with the utmost care and Remus was asleep the second his head touched the pillow. Poor baby. 

Now that Remus was somewhere safe and relaxing, Patton had been making phone call after phone call to get this sorted. Being a nurse allowed him to call private lines and cut a few lines but he was still currently on call, listening to the same three crackly-sounding pop songs on a loop. Just as he closed his eyes to soothe the ache behind them, his phone vibrated with a text message

**😍💖 MY PRINCE 💋👑: Hello, my love. Another successful adventure to the dog park complete! I couldn't have done it without my noblest of companions!! =D**

Underneath was a picture of Thomas, sprawled out on their living room carpet looking thoroughly pooped. Cute thing. 

**PATTON-TED PRINCESS 💙🍪** : **Oof! That walk must have been** **_ruff_ ** **on poor Tommy! It must've been** **_pawsome_ ** **getting to spend time with his second favourite dad!**

**😍💖 MY PRINCE 💋👑: Good puns, darling! A round of Ap-** **_paws_ ** **for you! Howl are you doing?**

Patton laughed aloud, he loved this man so very much. 

**PATTON-TED PRINCESS** 💙🍪 **: you're such a mal** **_tease_ ** **, 😜 are you doing anything?**

**😍💖 MY PRINCE 💋👑: 😏 not at the moment, you want anything? Should I send Thomas to bed~? 🍆**

He snorted in amusement, thoroughly distracted from the irritance of being on hold for _fifteen minutes_

**PATTON-TED PRINCESS** 💙🍪: **you act like I never feed you! 🍑💦**

**PATTON-TED PRINCESS** 💙🍪 **: :P not right now. Can you get some shopping in? We need some little stuff, for a baby.**

**😍💖 MY PRINCE 💋👑: oh! oh goodness gosh peck,, did we get one??**

**PATTON-TED PRINCESS** 💙🍪 **: well he was a little in hiding and since I found out and got him tested, I submitted a re-classification request and shielding report but also an adoption request next to it, and they decided to accept! 😱I'm on hold rn but they've got a bed ready and obviously they'll need my alpha's signature before he's officially in our care?**

**😍💖 MY PRINCE 💋👑: Ofc ofc! Absolutely,, gosh I'm so excited, ok what do we need???**

**PATTON-TED PRINCESS** 💙🍪 **: the basics,, some bottles and dummies, tho you might need newbies since I can see him being cranky for a while 😅😅 lots of nappies,, the smallest size for now, poor thing 😢 we can go shopping proper later but get some little clothes! Plenty pjs 💖**

**PATTON-TED PRINCESS** 💙🍪 **: oh and formula!! Any for now we'll figure out what he likes best!**

**😍💖 MY PRINCE 💋👑: I'm on my way to get some shopping now! 🛍️😍 I'll drop it off then come up to your work?**

**PATTON-TED PRINCESS** 💙🍪 **: thank you! They'll be expecting you so you'll get directed to the room and what you need to sign 🙈**

Patton jerked slightly as the music cut and another voice came on the other end, he'd almost forgotten he'd been on hold!

Smiling ever so wide, Patton happily chatted away with the operator, not even upset when he got passed around five more times. 

* * *

Remus groaned pleasantly, barely awake and nuzzling at pillows surrounding him. His whole body ached severely, limbs feeling impossibly heavy - but it was almost cathartic, deep bone hurt was similar to getting into a hot bath, like he was aching now because it was safe to. 

Because for _once_ Remus was resting. 

As much as he hates them, caregivers are good at one thing, and that's fussing and pampering. If only they could _turn it off_ then he wouldn't have such an issue. Regardless, Nurse Patton had managed to help him feel a little bit more human, constant headache and gut-stabbing hunger was removed and instead of exhausted, he was comfortably sleepy. 

Remus was on the very verge of falling back to sleep and so was willing to ignore the noises outside the trailer, footsteps and car doors slamming - probably people still clearing up equipment ready to go home. The door handle being messed with was slightly more concerning, but hadn't Patton locked the door? Pushing himself up sluggishly, Remus pouted at nothing in particular. 

"Pat-" Remus coughed and made an effort to deepen his voice "Patton, is it you?" 

There was no answer, other than the door swinging open, revealing two police officers. All of the warmth and comfort left him, eyes staring blankly at the two as his arms started trembling. This couldn't be any good news, was he gonna be arrested? Best case scenario, someone's murdered Roman and needed a statement, and as amusing as that would be, he'd still have to find another lead. Damn. 

"Um… Am I in trouble?" 

The officers smiled in a way that could have been kind, if they weren't two police officers barging in on him. One offered a hand to help him up, but he didn't take it. 

"Of course not, but you do need to come with us. We've got someone who would like to speak to you, mkay? Put some shoes on and we'll go meet them" 

Remus frowned, swallowing thickly. Surely if he's not under arrest he didn't _have_ to go with them? Right? 

_What if they're not actually police but they're serial killers pretending to be officers to get you to trust them like the bandits in Home Alone then they cave my head in-_

"Remus? You need to come with us, buddy. C'mon, let me help you up -" 

Buddy? "I-I don't want to go with you. I won't. I'm not under arrest so you can't take me" 

Remus was trying to be firm, but he was still curled up in blankets, trembling slightly and more than a little sleepy. The officers' eyes were frustratingly soft, unperturbed by his resistance. 

"You're right, we're not arresting you, but it's still super important you come with us, okay? Up we go," 

Both of Remus' upper arms were grabbed as they hauled him up, and Remus made an embarrassingly small yelp before his legs gave out. He was caught with little hassle, breathing speeding up as he rushed to get feet beneath him. Even once he was stable (ish) on his feet, tugging him gently while his sliders were placed in front of him to be stepped into. He put them on, if only to save him from wet feet, and was promptly lead outside. He wasn't sure what to even say. There was no getting out, as nice of a nap and meal as he'd had, he wasn't exactly at peak performance and the two officers flanking him weren't likely to just let him stagger off. 

"Where the hell are you taking me? I was just trying to nap" 

And he was cold as fuck, just being dragged out a blanket cocoon into the biting winter winds had him trembling slightly, and the officers stepped a little closer to him as though to provide body heat. We didn't much appreciate it. 

"We're almost there, then you can warm up" said the first officer, before the second piped up "And have a nap!" 

The fact they weren't answering the question concerned him, and he was even more concerned when he saw a non-emergency ambulance waiting for them. Was he actually going to have to identify the body? Surely they'd tell him someone had died before sticking him in front of their corpse. Fuck, it better not be Talyn. 

Admittedly he was spiralling, brain helpfully cooking up ways his pal could be chopped up or bleeding or electrocuted-- 

Electricity or not, his brain damn near short circuited as they got close enough to the doors to see three nurses pottering around in the back. Not any nurses. No, no they were fucking _little-specialist nurses_ and suddenly Remus knew exactly what this was all about. He stopped in his tracks, and no one forced him to move. Instead the hands holding his arms began rubbing gentle circles, trying for soothing and failing miserably. 

This couldn't be true, he had to be dreaming. Hopefully he was actually knocked out from banging his head and he'd wake up still on the floor of his too-small shower with freezing cold water pouring on him. Or, preferably, he wouldn't wake up at all, cause that would mean Roman was still in his fucking trailer. 

He didn't know how they'd found out, but he was almost certain Roman played a part in it, that prick. 

"Come on bud. Let's get you inside, yeah? These nice people can get you all nice and cosy." 

Remus turned as much as he could to face the officer that spoke, face full of rage as he squirmed against their hold. 

"No, No! I'm not going, _fuck off_ I'm not, I'm not, I'M NOT! No!" 

The officers held on tight as he squirmed furiously, making soft shushing and cooing noises that he absolutely despised. He could feel the urge to regress tugging at him insistently, like the urge to breath in while submerged in water. An instinctive but deadly urge. 

The struggling picked up - though was no less useless - as one of the nurses approached, mumbling reassurances as they approached. They made to pick him up, hands coming to under his arms. _Fuck this_ was Remus' last thought before swinging a leg into the person's groin with a snarl, barking 

"I said FUCK OFF! I'm not, not some fucking - UGH! Let _go!"_

There was a frustrating lack of consequence for assaulting someone right in front of an officer, but of course there wasn't any action. A little can not be charged with a crime, and Remus has never wanted so badly to be arrested. Instead, one of the officers went to tend to the injured nurse while the other sighed, spinning Remus around and picking him up so quick he didn't have time to fuss. 

"You clearly need to regress, buddy. Just relax and let it happen, you're more than safe now" 

He _wasn't_ safe, everything he'd worked for was in danger, his future could be ruined cause some prick decided to rat him out to the authorities instead of minding their own business. Frustrated, he squirmed and tried to kick - as his arms were pinned and head held down - as tears stung at his eyes and a whine bubbled in his throat. This wasn't fair! None of this was fair. Little space tugged at him, almost smug. There was no chance of Remus not regressing, cuddled up in the arms of a strong Alpha and swarmed by caregivers all _radiating_ comfort with their pheromones.

Someone wrapped a blanket around him, whispering something gentle as he was set down on something soft and buckled in. A wave of stress washed over him, before being replaced by a numb tingling, fuzzy in his tummy like he was dropping on a roller-coaster. 

Fully little, Remus scrunched his face and _wailed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://discord.gg/Tkdqj4yK  
> Here I mod a server that's pretty funky, in my opinion. Come say hi!


	6. WAIT,, your littol?? That's so cool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman finally catches up, and the baby is very fussy <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW forced infantilism, forced nudity (getting stripped/changed), force feeding, set in a hospital setting (though no hospital procedures)
> 
> Also am British, but I also call them diapers for this fic cause I think it sounds better than nappy~ same with Paci/Dummy

When he'd gotten the text, Patton was already making his way over - he smiled at the message, and even more so when he could hear the cries of a little from inside the ambulance. The sweet thing had regressed. 

Patton stepped into the back of the ambulance, shutting the door to keep out the chill. He couldn't help but coo at Remus, moving to sit next to him as they began to drive - the little's face was red, most of his makeup was cried off, cheeks soaked with tears as he squirmed in the safety seat. He patted the baby's thigh gently, making soft noises of comfort when the wails increased in volume. Remus started tugging uselessly on his harness while kicking his lil' feet, and Patton couldn't stop the smile - the fact that he was now sat next to his baby had just started sinking in. 

"Shh, baby, you're ok. No fussing sweetie, we're gonna get you sorted soon, mkay?" 

His assurances didn't do much for the baby, who continued to whine and sob - though Patton knew he'd be able to calm him down much more efficiently when they're in the hospital, as he'd be able to cuddle and cradle him close. Physical comfort is what all babies love, he was certain Remus would love a nice warm bottle and a cuddle with his new daddy and papa. For now, Patton half-hugged the baby from his seat, mumbling nonsense coos of comfort and rubbing at his arms. 

Once they'd pulled into the little hospital, Patton unclipped Remus' harness and lifted him up into his arms, and cooed yet again when the tear stained face was shoved into his neck with a snotty sniffle. Cutie. He wrapped a blanket around him before making his way inside. 

A small team was waiting for Remus, ready to take him up to his room with a gurney-crib for transport. Patton smiled at the nurses, who smiled in return and began to lead him up to Remus' room and allowed him to carry his new little. Patton still couldn't quite get over that this tiny ball of cute was now  _ his little.  _

The little hospital was a very inviting place, decorated so as to not appear intimidating to the little patients. Through the open reception area there was a large plastic tree, with a small cave carved into the bottom. Two littles were sat inside, engrossed in a children's book. 

They were cute, sure, but they're in too old of an age range for Patton's liking - not that he wouldn't play with them, if they asked! It was just that he was a lot more cuddly, and much more preferred having a baby on his lap. Remus finally emerged from Patton's neck with a soft whine, kicking his legs out and squirming. Patton chuckled and cooed, pressing a kiss to his temple and cuddling him that much tighter as they wound their way through cheerfully painted corridors to the baby ward, differentiated by a softer pallet with simpler characters decorating the wall. 

Remus' room was in a quiet corner, painted a cute mint green with pale yellow shapes across the walls. There was a crib bed to put Remus down, but Patton only lay him down to get him sorted. The first step was a change - he knew Remus wasn't wearing protection, poor thing, and he was lucky the baby hadn't gone potty. One of the trainee nurses placed a pile next to the baby - a diaper, changing supplies, and hospital clothes. 

The baby was still rather sleepy, and so Patton didn't have much trouble tugging off the big-boy pyjamas although as Patton tried to tug the raggedy old boxers off, Remus began squirming and batting at Patton's gentle hands. Patton simply smiled at him and grabbed a stuffed puppy that had been offered to him, pushing the stuffie into Remus' hands. 

Despite years of neglect, his little reflexes were working perfectly and Remus instinctively pulled the pup up to his chest and cuddled it tight with both arms, still scowling and wriggling - but it was nothing Patton couldn't happen, and soon his baby was out of the adult clothes and ready to be properly dressed. Collecting the wriggly legs to lift, sliding the diaper under his butt, Patton hoped some chit-chat could placate the baby for now.

"Hiya, baby~ oh you're being so good, Re-Re, letting daddy get you dressed," Remus let out a high-pitched squeal and started whimpering, which Patton chose to interpret "Oh, baby, I know, I know. You wanna be all snug and cuddled, this is all confusing, isn't it? But, lookie! You're already all padded up, daddy is just gonna put this gown on. It's got fishies on it!" 

Remus continued to fuss as Patton put his head and sleeves through the gown, tying it at the back. Step one done. The nurse prepared the hospital tag as he spoke to the hovering trainee, 

" Could you please prepare a hungry baby bottle? All the booster vitamins, Zolpidem and Afiniletine as well, please. Patient is around 42 kilograms" 

The nurse paused from nodding along, a from on xir face "Only  _ 42?  _ that's incredibly -" 

"Underweight, I know, that's why he's going on the thicker formula, could you please go and do it?" 

Xe nodded, sending Remus a saddened look before hurrying off. Patton gave a somber pat on Remus' thigh, frowning at the feeling of bone. Remus was his baby now, he was never gonna suffer like this again. 

Determined, Patton gently picked up Remus' left wrist and tied his identification bracelet on, the pale green telling everyone just how young his little sweetheart was. He smiled, and began swaddling Remus up. The baby fussed, clearly wanting to be in Patton's arms  _ now.  _ Soon he was finished, and scooped the little bundle up into his arms - Remus still fussed a little, but Patton quietly shushed him as he sat down on the seat facing the crib. 

The seat was comfy, and made for a caregiver and little to sit together, meaning Patton had no trouble reclining Remus to lie in the crook of his arm as though feeding. Patton could spend the rest of his life here, staring down at his new baby. He reached out to stroke the baby's cheek, and Remus let out the most endearing little  _ coo  _ ever imaginable, Patton melted in adoration. He grabbed a baby wipe and began cleaning the baby's face of makeup - he winced in sympathy at the ugly bruise on the little's head, courtesy of Patton's lovable idiot husband. 

"Awww, sweet thing. Does your head still hurt? You're not having the best luck, huh? Took a tumble and banged your head, then burnt your hand? Not fun at all" 

Remus simply pouted at him, eyes big and watery as he wriggled minutely in the swaddle - he must be hungry! 

"Are you hungry, Re-Re? Your milky is coming soon, baby" 

Yet again, Remus didn't have much patience as he began crying - so soft and little-like that it simply made Patton coo more. Surely Remus was just getting fussy over having to wait for a bottle. Patton just hugged him through the crying, cradling him close and squeezing in as much contact as he could, alternating between nuzzling his baby, peppering him with kisses, and stroking him - after all, what better way was there to bond with a baby than comfort them while upset? Remus will start getting attached to him in no time! 

Patton's phone buzzed in his pocket, a 'ping' making Remus jerk and get teary all over again. Patton nearly melted at the sweet thing, caressing his cheek. Minuets passed before Patton got another message, and he was ready to turn his phone off when his husband came into the room. 

  
  


* * *

"Patton, darling! -" Roman's cheerful greetings was silenced with a harsh shush from his omega, who was cradling a bundle of blankets to his chest that could only be their new baby. Roman smiled warmly, quietly making his way over to sneak a peek of the little one. 

Roman was honestly surprised when his husband had told him that he'd found a little in hiding and managed to adopt him. Roman spent the car ride daydreaming what his baby could look like - 

So imagine his surprise when he saw his boss, cuddled up in Patton's arms, fussing gently with his eyes closed. 

_ What the heck?  _ "What the heck?" 

Patton blinked up at him, batting those big doe eyes like he could see nothing strange about the situation, "What's wrong, sweetie? Oh - did you wanna hold him? We can swap places" 

Roman shook his head and blocked Patton from standing, mind reeling. 

"No no, it's just I wasn't… Wasn't expecting Remus. To, uh, be the little" 

Patton gave him a smile, pushing Remus' head to the crook of his neck when the baby started letting out sad little whines. 

"I wasn't expecting Remus to be a baby, either! But, oh isn't it perfect - Ah ah, baby, shh you're ok" 

Roman knelt on the floor, still rather startled, but as he churned the information in his head, he conceded that it was only his own density that had prevented him from noticing - the clues were rather obvious. Wait, that means - 

"Oh gosh! I gave our baby a massive bruise! Are you okay, dear?" 

Apparently Remus hadn't noticed his presence up until now, cause the second the two locked eyes, the baby was  _ screaming  _ with even more tears pooling, the little now thrashing instead of squirming inside the swaddle, chest heaving with the weight of the sobs. Roman backed up, a concerned frown on his face as his husband pulled the baby up from his reclining position into a tight hug, leaning back slightly with the baby sprawled across his torso. 

"Oh dear baby, all these tears~ you need your milky, don't you, baby?" 

Roman watched in awed silence as his husband worked his caretaker magic. He didn't stop Remus' tears, but by the time another nurse had appeared with a bottle, Remus was only sniffling. Patton smiled at the nurse, bouncing Remus gently to try and get him enthused 

"Lookie, Re! Your milkies here~ isn't that nice, huh?" 

The little didn't look very thrilled, turning his face away and butting Patton's shoulder. Aww, he must be tired as well as hungry! Patton had the same idea, moving to angle Remus' face out of his shoulder, 

"No, no, sweet baby, no sleepies yet. You need milkies! Then you can take a nap, won't that be nice?" Remus didn't seem to think so, kicking a foot out, petulant. 

It felt weird seeing the director like this, yet not a bad weird. He certainly looked miles cuter, even when Roman had only seen him for about ten fussy minutes. 

He was slightly distracted by staring fondly at his new baby, and so jerked slightly when a clipboard was handed to him. 

"Apologies, alpha Roman, but you'll need to sign this to confirm you're happy to have this little in your household" 

Roman took the pen shakily, smiling like a mad man. Just a few sheets of paper stood between the couple getting their baby - he began signing, still half focused on the baby. 

Remus wasn't settling very well, still wriggling in Patton's arms and huffing out small whines every time the teat of the bottle came near him. Had he been neglecting his little side so long that he didn't recognise a bottle? That was a depressing thought. Regardless, Patton finally managed to plop the bottle into his mouth, cooing at the whines as Remus clumsily mouthed at the teat, getting dribbles of milk all down him. It was so terribly endearing. 

Eventually the little seemed to understand the motions, suckling down the formulae milk that would become Remus' main source of food. Patton had made it clear their little would be on a liquid diet all of the time; he'd listed several reasons, from helping them regress more comfortably, to helping them go potty and keeping their tummies from getting upset - Roman simply agreed with Patton, he was the nurse and he surely knew what was best. 

"Good boy. What a good baby." 

Patton was practically glowing, looking like a gosh darn Saint in Roman's eyes, cradling and caring for their baby. It was magical, and as Roman filled in the last piece of information, he needed one more signature. 

He tilted the clipboard towards Patton, taking over the duty of holding the bottle while Patton quickly jotted down his signature, before moving back to his original position, cooing over Remus. 

Roman stared at the document blankly in disbelief before handing it over to the nurse, who smiled warmly. 

"Congratulations, you're both now the legal caregivers of  _ Remus Sanders"  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter feels illegal. I'm meant to be finishing a dissertation due in 21 hours,,, but I can rarely control what my brain sticks to. Enjoy my forbidden writing~~


	7. In the hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The husband's fret over the little one while simultaneously ignoring all of his attempts to tell them how upset he is. After all, he's surely just feeling poorly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual warnings ahead! Along with another, non descriptive nappy change. Also non-con drug use! Enjoy ~

Roman sighed pleasantly when his husband finally got into bed. It'd been a hectic day for sure, one that he'd somehow ended with an adopted little that was also his old boss. Oh, and also, he guessed he didn't have a job anymore since Re wouldn't be able to direct anymore. Though it wasn't too much hassle, he was never short of job offers. 

After they'd gone through with adopting Remus, Roman had been subjected to the most nerve wracking video call - Remus' manager, now demanding what Roman was going to do to handle the fall out. 

The agreement they'd come to was to… Not mention anything, for now. Luckily Remus didn't really advertise his movies until they were nearly done (since he could spend months on end redoing and reshuffling and didn't like the added stress of people wanting a release date) so the general public weren't expecting the movie, and the cast and crew will be paid off to not disclose any information. It'd be a few months before fans notice his absence, probably by him missing a horror convention or something - after that, they'll have a few more weeks to prepare, maybe get Re out of town before releasing a statement. Hopefully the reasoning behind keeping it a secret will be understood, throw in some lines about wanting their baby to get comfortable, and have a normal life. 

Whilst he had that delightful conversation, Patton was busy showing off his baby to all his coworkers, allowing all the nurses to fawn over the sleeping little. Patton really was magic when it came to littles, he could always time a bottle just for when Remus was starting to wake up, the baby would never wake up enough to fuss as it sent him straight back to sleep. Even Roman got some time with his new baby - and wasn't that an incredibly exciting and strange sentiment? - cradling Remus carefully while Patton had to tend to a patient that had been asking for him. 

The hospital room had a couch within, one that could fold out into a bed and the two were currently cuddled up on. Patton had spent the last few hours periodically checking on the snoozing baby, fussing over his blankets, checking the burn injury, and making sure he wasn't wet (and then fretting that he hadn't gone potty yet, despite how much he'd been drinking) 

Even as Roman wrapped his arms around the omega, Patton's focus was very much still on the little bundled up in the crib. The alpha sighed, before letting a soothing rumble whilst he kissed at Patton's shoulders, 

"Love, he's going to be okay. He won't even wake up till morning, not after that bottle" 

He could feel the way Patton's shoulders trembled for a moment as he whined softly, tilting his head submissively - Roman took the opportunity to nuzzle the flesh as Patton spoke. 

"I know, sweetie, I'm just nervous I'm gonna get this wrong. I've never even met a little that's suffering as much as Re, I dunno how to teach him how wonderful his regression is," his husband began choking up, sniffling on his own tears "He's just… he's such a sweet little baby who's been through so much! I wish someone had noticed sooner, I wish he never felt the need to hide! Our tiny baby being so sad for so long. I just, I-I" the end tapered off into cries as Roman pulled his husband closer in a tight hug. The caregiver held back tightly, shaking his head in the way that usually indicated he wanted to dismiss his own feelings. Roman shushed him softly,

"My love, please, it's perfectly understandable that you're so upset about our dear Remus. It's distressing to know that a little was left alone for so long, but he's with us now. He's gonna get the best life possible, I already know you're going to help him to love his headspace. We're both going to shower him with every ounce of love he deserves, and then some. Please, don't cry "

Patton sniffled sadly, hands flapping as he tried to figure out what to do with his wet, snotty face. Roman pressed a kiss to his forehead and reached across to pull out some tissues from the box nearby. He handed them over and let Patton compose himself whilst cleaning his face. 

"You're right, Ro. We're gonna make sure he's the happiest baby. Oh, I bet Thomas is going to love him…" 

Roman chuckled warmly at the thought of their pup "He's gonna be able to put that little training to good use," 

The two caregivers chatted away quietly, nose to nose and smiling the whole time. After an hour had passed, Patton was completely relaxed, body relaxing completely into the mattress as his mind stopped worrying about the baby. They both fell asleep soon after. 

* * *

Patton stirred awake at the sound of fussing - small whines and someone squirming. A few seconds ticked by before he could comprehend them as their new little. He shot up, startling Roman awake as he rushed towards the cot and instantly dropped one side of the bars while cooing gently. 

"Good morning, baby. You have a good snooze? Bet that felt good, huh?" 

He only received a louder whine in response, tears pooling in the baby's eyes so he quickly scooped Re up, pressing a kiss to his temple. 

"Poor baby, bet you feel all kinds of icky, huh?" Patton absently pressed the call button on the wall to summon an on-duty nurse, cooing and rocking while they waited. Roman finally woke up enough to get off the bed, cracking his back noisily but holding back on his usual over the top yawn, most likely for the baby's sake. A nurse popped their head in a few moments later, smiling warmly at Remus. Patton smiled softly, she'd been so adoring of his baby yesterday. 

"Hey, Val, could you please get a bottle for him? Just a regular, he's staying awake for now" 

He chirped a thanks after receiving an affirmative, plopping down on the armchair with his baby on his lap. 

"What's silly papa doing, Re?" 

Roman looked up from where he was trying to re-fold the sofa bed, scoffing dramatically and placing his hands on his hips.

"Don't sully the baby's mind with falsities, you fiend! I've never been silly in my entire life. Always one hundred percent, serious, intelligent, pure manliness!" 

Patton was prepared to scold him for the loud tone when he heard a raspy little laugh that made him grin widely. It was honestly upsettingly small and hesitant, but it was the first time they'd caught Remus in a slightly positive mood, and Patton was determined to capitalise on that. 

"Alright, Mr Macho Manliness, come hold your baby~" 

Roman's eyes practically lit up, which was, frankly, adorable as he rushed forward to take the little in his arms. Re went easily enough, flopping over his shoulder with a grunt. With his hands free, Patton made his way over to the sofa bed, and in one firm movement was able to get it to fold. He couldn't stop the giggle at Roman's pouty face. 

"I swear, it was jammed or something" 

Patton laughed once again as he folded up the used blankets. 

"Uh-huh" 

Whatever retort Roman had, it was cut off by the nurse coming in again, handing over the bottle with a smile. 

"Ah, thank you! You're a star ~" he turned to his husband "You wanna feed him?" 

The alpha's pout melted into starry eyes as he nodded, seating himself on the newly folded sofa and eagerly taking the bottle. 

Remus had his eyes squeezed shut, and being repositioned to drink made him whimper. Roman paused, a guilty look on his face, 

"Is… Is he okay? He just seems really upset like, all the time…" 

Patton sighed softly, moving to get his clean clothes out his bag while he spoke. 

"He's not poorly or sore in a way we can really do much about. I bet he does feel horrible, ignoring regression for so long can manifest physical symptoms, and once littles actually regress again, the body does a neat little trick - makes the little feel miserable and poorly so they stay in headspace for at least a few days. How clever is that?"

Roman hummed absently as Remus dodged the bottle yet again, 

"I guess that makes sense, but it still sucks. First few days he's gotta spend them feeling like poop."

"It is pretty sucky, I'd much rather have a happy bouncy baby. But right now he's basically feeling like he's got the flu - headache, dizzy, full body sore, uncomfortably warm. He'll be fussy, but it should pass in the next week or so. That's why the bottles were sending him to sleep so he didn't have to feel icky, otherwise he'd probably have cried all night."

Roman finally managed to get the bottle in Re's mouth, the little going limp asides from the suckling. Cutie. 

"Why is this bottle not going to send him to sleep, then?" 

Patton simply smiled as he began getting change as he chatted. 

"it's bad for anyone to be unconscious for a week, plus if he were to wake up in a week, he'd be in a brand new house with brand new people and that would be terrifying. Unfortunately Re is going to have to feel icky for a bit, but at least there's always someone to cuddle him!"

The alpha glanced down at Re, nodding quietly. 

"I just wish he wasn't hurting"

Patton downright cooed at that, giving Roman a kiss on the head and a loving stroke on the cheek. Such a lovely, caring papa. Now he was fully dressed, he made his way to the connected bathroom, keeping the door open so he could still chat while he got cleaned up. 

"I know it's no fun, but it's not really hurting it's just… uncomfortable. And we're gonna pick up some medication, to help ease it" 

He could hear a sigh of relief from his husband and smiled at himself in the mirror. 

* * *

Half an hour later, once both caregivers were cleaned up and ready for the day, the only task left was to get the little ready. Roman had already signed the release papers - just with the promise to come back in a month, given his unhealthy physical state, but they were largely trusted to take care of him at home given that Patton was a nurse - but right now Remus wanted to fuss and cry. 

Roman had bought some generic clothes to tide over before they had time to go shopping, and had set out an adorable little romper with cats on it. He'd really like to see Remus in it, but they hadn't even made it past the changing diaper stage. The little was kicking out and crying, not even accepting the puppy teddy like last night. All Patton could do was talk gently to try and calm him, but it didn't seem to be working. It was only when Re whined tearily and tried to sit up did Patton change tactics as he gently pushed the baby onto his back. 

"Ro? Could you go into that blue draw? There should be some - yeah, thank you" 

Roman handed him a sterile pacifier, which Patton swiftly popped the cover off and turned back to Re. 

"Hey baby, lookie what I've got!" that certainly got his attention, tantrum momentarily forgotten as he focused solely on Patton. He seemed to be trying to figure out what he was holding - had the poor baby not had a paci yet? Patton made sure to act fast while the attention was on him, gasping excitably and making an over exaggerated 'ooohhhhh' 

The sweet baby stared for a moment before trying to mimic the mouth movements, providing a perfect opportunity to pop the paci in with minimal fuss. Luckily, the pacifier was designed to also be used by newbies - newbies being littles that were new to /resisting headspace and had trouble using the products as intended - and so had clear plastic straps that would clip round the back to keep it in place. Of course they could be removed, but considering Remus hasn't gotten the suckle motion yet and it was just sliding out his mouth, Patton decided to clip it on. 

Patton wasted no time getting another diaper under his butt while the baby just blinked slowly, trying to process what just happened. He cooed, patting his thigh after taping the diaper in place. He didn't want to trick the poor baby, but he was getting so worked up, and clearly offering him a paci wouldn't have worked as he didn't know what to do with it and so probably hasn't seen one before. He patted at Re's tummy as he grabbed the romper, 

"Sweetheart, you gotta suck it, like a bottle." 

Remus simply whined and kicked his feet, and Patton smiled lovingly whilst pulling the romper over his head pressing a kiss to his nose once it was over. Next manoeuvred his arms through the sleeves - which wasn't easy, Re was being a squirmy boy today! - and clip it close at the crotch. 

"Aw Pat, he's adorable" 

Patton glanced at his husband, practically beaming as the alpha leaned down to give Re a kiss on the cheek. 

"Isn't he just? He just needs his onesie on, then we're ready to go!" 

Roman beamed, inspecting the onesie Patton had selected - baby blue fleece with a yellow duckling on the front. He was gonna look so cute in it, once Remus actually let them put it on. Right now he was whining, trying to pull his arms back from Patton who, unfortunately for Remus, was well versed in quickly dressing littles. Remus pulled his arms up to inspect them, seemingly frustrated at the built in mittens. Patton took advantage of the temporary distraction and managed to get his legs - that were also covered, at the feet - in the onesie, cooing praises at how good the little baby was. 

The whining picked up slightly just as Patton finished the buttons, Remus reaching up to tug at his curls. Roman recognised it as a sign of stress and wondered if the hospital environment was upsetting - despite all the efforts to make everything pretty and less intimidating, it was still very much a hospital. Patton pulled the baby's hands back, kissing them gently as Remus screeched behind the paci and tried to pull them back. 

"Can you pass me the swaddling blanket, Ro?" 

Roman hummed an affirmative, digging through the baby bag and pulling out the large red blanket. Patton pecked his cheek as a thank you before making quick work of the squirmy baby, keeping his arms to his chest before swaddling him up tightly. Hidden velcro straps as extra protection against newbie littles, and the baby was efficiently prevented from hurting himself. Roman carefully wrapped his other two blankets around him - it was below freezing outside, after all - then Patton easily scooped the fussy baby up, cradling him close and pushing his face into the pheromone glands on the side of his neck. That calmed him down slightly, but Roman could still hear sniffles and whines. 

"Poor Re I bet you feel all kinds of icky, huh? We're going home now, you'll be a lot comfier. Daddy and papa will take care of you, and you'll get to meet our puppy! Isn't that fun, sweetie" 

The nurse was already making his way out the room, chattering along to the baby, so Roman simply huffed fondly and picked up their bags, following Patton out. Predictably, he found Patton chatting to another nurse, trying to get a teary Remus to give them a smile. It tugged at his heart to see the little so clearly upset, but thankfully the two nurses stopped when they noticed him, smiling wide. 

"Are we ready to go, love?" 

Patton nodded eagerly, bidding his nurse friend goodbye as they officially left the hospital. Roman fished his car keys out his back pocket, unlocking the car and opening up the boot. Luckily he'd remembered a car seat for Remus, or else they wouldn't have been able to go anywhere. 

"Mmmm! Bah! Gababa!" ah, the sounds becoming all too familiar - Remus fussing. Patton was trying to get him buckled into the seat but he really wasn't having it. He might have wanted to continue being held, he did seem to relax when nuzzling Patton, considering the resistance he was putting up in the seat.

"Oh baby, I know. It's no fun sitting on your own. Don't worry, daddy will sit next to you! Shh, shh, you're okay!" 

Remus whined and threw his head back, trying to arch his back out of the seat, but it was too late and Patton already had him secure. 

"Is he all done, love?" 

Patton hummed as he shut Remus' side door - Roman clicked it locked just in case the little found a way to wriggle out and decided to play with the handle - and went round, sliding in the back seat next to their baby. 

"Yeah, Ro, all secure! Maybe have the radio on 104? That station does nursery rhymes and lullabies and such." 

Roman chuckled, having a feeling the two were going to become intimately familiar with every nursery rhyme known to man.

A cheerful yet relaxing tune came through the speakers, and Roman made sure to turn it well down since Remus seemingly had some form of sensory issues, and started the car. 

"Alright, my lovelies, time for the Sanders to make the daunting travel home ~" 

Patton giggled and applauded the theatrics, while Remus seemingly groaned. 


	8. Happy Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman gets a chance to prove he can look after the baby on his own, only to have Patton in a very sour mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🥺 Enjoy!  
> Slight warnings for - sensory overload, jealousy, domestic squabble, physical stimming being prevented(?) dunno how to word that one
> 
> Ty for reading!

The car ride was fairly nice for the first ten minutes. Patton had spent a long while pressing kisses to the baby's face and showing him some toys to try and distract him. Remus clearly didn't like being in the car, so Roman was proud that he'd kept mostly quiet, only occasionally rocking his whole body against the car seat and whining loudly. Roman couldn't help but be concerned that he was perhaps travel sick, but surely Patton would've thought of that before him. 

Unfortunately, almost as soon as they got onto the motorway they'd been forced to stop. A large truck spillage had closed all four lanes, and police were instructing cars to turn off their engine to wait. As time ticked on, Remus only got more uncomfortable. 

Remus really didn't want to settle, and the cars randomly honking weren't helping at all. Roman severely doubted that honking at the road blocks would make them clear any quicker, but it was certainly hurting their little's ears - he was almost continuously rubbing at them, kicking his feet and huffing. 

"Aww, _Re-Re._ It's okay, them other cars are just being silly, but lookie what daddy's got!" Patton gasped dramatically, managing to gather Remus' attention, and proudly presented a pink bunny toy "it's a little bunny come to say hello!" he mimed the rabbit jumping along the car seat, cooing as Remus seemed genuinely entranced for once. 

Eager to keep the enthusiasm up, Patton beamed and had the rabbit 'jump' onto the baby, hopping up until it could press a 'kiss' on Remus' lips - or, the paci shield - and made a loud 'mwuah!' 

A beat of silence before Remus started letting out little giggles, the caregivers melting at the noise. So cute. 

Remus was still giggling to himself as he tried to reach for the rabbit, Patton smiling and offering the stuffie to him - 

**_BEEP. BEEPP!_ **

Another car horn had Remus jerking fiercely, a noise half whine - half moan escaping as he flapped about in distress. Patton increased his cooing, moving to wrap his arms around the baby to stop the flapping, though it only served to upset him more. 

" _Oh dear,_ let's calm down shall we? It was just a silly car, baby. Look, bunny is still here! We like bunny, don't we?" 

Right now the baby didn't even seem to be acknowledging bunny, or Patton. Roman didn't know if he could be any help, if someone as experienced as Patton couldn't do anything. For a brief moment, Roman caught Remus' eye through the rear view mirror - he looked so _scared_ that Roman was struck with a determination to help. 

As Patton continued trying to distract the little, and ignorant drivers continued honking and yelling in frustration, Roman pulled open the glove box to try and find - aha! His bluetooth headphones, they should be less invasive than earbuds and worked rather well to block out noise. Patton was sending him confused looks in between his coos (at the baby who was now crying, which urged Roman on) 

He popped the headphones on his own head, connecting them to his phone and playing a random song to ensure the volume was okay and the audio not crackly. With a small smile, he twirled around in his seat and placed the headphones on Remus' head, playing from his Disney playlist. 

Patton sent Roman a pout, 

"I could've calmed him…" 

Roman smiled, watching Remus settle, the little even nuzzling back into the head support as he sucked away on his paci. It was certainly adorable. 

Patton held a hand out, and Roman handed over his phone without hesitation. He seemed to be selecting a new song, 

"Gonna put some sleepy music on. Hopefully he can nap through this - though he is due some milk at… Ugh, ten minutes ago." 

Roman nodded, rubbing gently at Patton's knee to soothe his obvious anxieties. This wasn't ideal, especially not for their first day, but neither of them were doing anything wrong, and Remus wasn't upset or hurt. They could do this. 

"Well, um. Hopefully he'll snooze through this jam, then if we come out at the next exit we can go to that cafe your brother recommended and they'll have bottles for Re, brunch for us," Roman paused, watching the little shift around before settling again "If that sounds alright?" 

Patton smiled and nodded gratefully, cautiously tucking the rabbit against Remus' neck and giving a gentle 'aww' when the baby nuzzled into it. 

* * *

The wait after that was boring, but bearable. They flicked to a radio show for background noise and chatted easily, about whatever came to mind. Remus drifted off to a light snooze, still wearing Roman's headphones and drooling slightly on the rabbit. 

After another half hour they finally got the all clear and the road began clearing up and Roman was free to drive, driving off the motorway to a quiet little town. It didn't take long to find the cafe, and soon they were pulling up in a family parking spot. 

"Shall I get the pram out, love?" 

Patton nodded and hummed an affirmative, gently playing with the little's hair. Remus was still snoozing peacefully, lullabies playing gently in his ears. 

Roman popped the boot to get the pram out, leaving his omega to gently unbuckle the baby. The pram was rather easy to set up, plenty of padding and straps to keep the little one safe - and the cutest little mobile so Remus can play with something. 

Roman came round to Remus' side, unlocking and opening the door to lift the baby out. Only he wasn't unstrapped yet, and Patton was on the phone looking rather concerned. Oh dear. Patton simply gestured to the little then the pram, so Roman nodded and dutifully began unclipping him with the utmost care. By the time Remus was settled into the pram, all his blankets tucked in, Patton had finished his phone call and was out the car. 

"Sweetie, I think I need to go back to the hospital. One-one of my patients, a baby, well she's took a turn and her mummy isn't picking up the phone and she's so upset -" 

Roman pressed a kiss to Patton's forehead, rubbing at his arms in hopes of helping ground him. 

"Shh. It's okay, that's okay. It's only twenty minuets back to the hospital from here, now that the road is clear. Drive back in the car, and go make sure she's okay. I can stay here with Remus, I'll get his bottle and make sure he's well fed. This place is very good for littles so they'll have stuff for him to do, I'll eat something, then text me before you set off coming back and I'll order you something, so it will probably be ready or just served by the time you're here. Does that sound okay?"

Patton shuddered a sigh, butting his head into Roman's chest before nodding. 

"Yeah, thank you alpha, I just. Don't want to screw this up."

Roman tilted his head up to catch his husband's eye, hoping his own sincerity shone through. 

"You aren't screwing this up, love. You're an incredible caregiver and you're going to be such a good daddy for him. In the worst case scenario, your brother lives nearby. I'm sure he won't mind coming to help, hell he'll jump at any opportunity to flex his charm with littles."

Patton laughed at that, looking significantly less upset. The two unpacked the baby bag and various toys, having one final kiss before Patton left. Roman couldn't help but feel excited, not at his husband being _gone_ but at the prospect of being able to prove to himself that he can do this. 

"Well, Re. Let's go!" Roman hummed cheerfully, gently pulling off the headphones and pushing the pram towards the entrance. 

* * *

By the time Roman had settled at a table, Remus' pram tucked in next to him, the little one was stirring. Big brown eyes blinked up at him, looking confused and sleepy as mittened hands began rubbing them. Roman smiled at the cutie, giving him a moment to wake up before he attempted to talk. 

Remus simply looked around, craning his head to check around the pram. He seemed to be searching for something, and Roman was suddenly nervous he was going to start crying for his daddy - _of course he wants Patton, Patton is the better caregiver between the two of us._

"Um, hi sweetie, did you have a nice nap?" 

The little simply stared at him for a moment, paci bobbing in his mouth sluggishly before he let out a single, gentle coo. Roman nearly melted, smiling wide. This was good. 

"Such a cutie. Don't you worry, a nice bottle of milkies will come soon. That'll be nice, huh?" 

As he chatted, Roman gently unclipped the little one and scooped him up, settling him on his lap. Remus flopped against him, looking around with slight interest. Roman was going to continue the light chit chat, but the baby suddenly perked up, kicking his little feet and wriggling with an endearing 'Mmm! Mm, _mm'_ noise from behind the strapped in pacifier. 

It was undeniably adorable, and Roman followed the babies eyeline to see what had attracted such an energetic response - was someone handing out balloons? Or a particularly adorable doggo? No, Roman couldn't see anything that might've attracted the baby's attention, there was only a couple tucked away in the corner and chatting quietly, and a man at the counter buying a panini. 

Wait a minute. He _knew_ that panini purchaser! 

"Emile? Hey, Emile!" 

His old friend turned around, expression confused for a few moments before he made the connection and recognised who had called for his attention. He smiled, and made his way over with the newly purchased and freshly toasted lunch item. 

" I almost didn't recognise you, Roman. You've sure done a lot of growing up" 

Roman preened at the compliment, and even more when Emile sat down across from him, clearly intent on a conversation. Remus squeaked at him, kicking his legs excitedly and leaning forward. Roman shifted to accommodate, smiling, 

"He's not normally this energetic but he seems to like you" 

Emile nodded along with a smile, before his eyes widened slightly at the baby

" _Remus?_ Gosh you look so different in headspace _"_

Did the two know each other? "Do you know each other?" 

Emile nodded slightly, reaching a hand out and letting the baby grab onto it with a squeal. "Not very well, but we met the other night both shopping. I didn't know you were his caregiver. I'd have messaged to make sure he got home safe." 

Roman frowned slightly, rubbing at Remus' back and holding a little tighter as the little was practically trying to claw his way over to Emile. 

"We've only just adopted him. Like, last night. He was, well he's been hiding his regression and pretending to be a neutral so my husband who's a nurse managed to convince the higher ups to let us adopt instead of sending him to an adoption center - sorry, do you wanna hold him?"

Emile smiled and nodded, though instead of letting Roman stand up to set the baby on his lap, he stood up and made his way round. Roman blinked before lifting Remus up for Emile to take, but Emile didn't immediately lift him. Instead, he held his arms out as though expecting a hug, and spoke in a clear and gentle - though not overly babyish, like most would to a little that young - tone. 

"Hello, Remus. Would you like me to pick you up so you can sit on my knee?" 

Remus gurgled slightly behind the strapped in pacifier, flapping slightly before holding his arms up once more and humming an affirmative tone. Emile looked slightly strained as he stared at the clear, plastic straps on the pacifier for just a second before he shook it off and scooped Remus up with a soft smile. In return the little snuggled up to him like they'd been together for years. It was strange, and a little disheartening, if he was honest. 

Once Emile was back in his seat, an excitable baby on his lap, he began gently playing with his hair as he turned back to Roman. 

"Why is his pacifier _strapped in?_ " 

Roman blinked dumbly, tilting his as he stared at the little. He wasn't actually using it, just sort of holding it in his mouth. It made it look more like a gag, especially when Remus turned to look at him with those massive, wide eyes. 

"I'm not…sure? It was put in at the hospital and I never thought to take it out. You, you can if you want. He doesn't look too comfortable" 

Emile went ahead and unclipped the pacifier - though didn't pull it out of Remus' mouth, instead waiting a few seconds until the little spat it out. Roman expected crying to follow, as is the usual reaction when a pacifier is dropped, but Remus only let out a little babble that sounded rather thankful. Huh. 

Remus turned to look up at him, actually _smiling_ and reaching up to gently poke at his face - as much as he could poke, with mittens on. Emile smiled right back, gently booping his nose. Whatever Emile was going to say, it was cut off by the waiter appearing with a bottle for Remus, and a Roman's lunch. 

"Shit, Emile, you've run off with a new family cause we didn't have your favourite panini in? Girl, I promise you, the turkey is not that bad! You haven't even tried it" 

It was strange to see the waiter so blatantly ignoring the only alpha at the table, nevermind that alpha being the one who ordered. As they talked, they set out the plate, cutlery, and drink without even looking - surprisingly getting everything in the right place. Emile seemed charmed by the waiter, lips settling into an eased smile. 

"Remy, nice to see you!" 

Remy rolled their eyes with a slight blush, tucking the tray under their arm. Emile brushed his knuckles over theirs, which only worsened the blush as they hastily retreated, mumbling "Whatever, just eat your fancy sandwich before its all sad and cold" 

Roman looked at Emile for an answer, but the man was already distracted with the little, speaking lowly whilst picking up the bottle. 

"Would you like some milk, Remus?" 

Roman kind of thought it was a silly question, the baby was nearly an hour late for his milk so surely he was hungry. But when Remus _preened_ and muttered a quiet "Baba" it was cute enough that Roman just might ask every time. 

With the consent, and after checking that Remus didn't want to hold it himself, Emile plopped the bottle in with a gentle hum - strangely, the baby accepted without a fuss, and seemed rather happy to drink it. 

"So how have you been?" 

Roman perked up at that, talking about himself was something he could do! The two chatted away as they ate, Emile sitting the little up after he'd drained the bottle. He happily recounted his wedding to Emile, gushing over Patton, and was excited for Emile as he talked about his own little and how they'd met. It was rather endearing to hear how Emile instantly took them in, if a little saddening to hear that their biological family had rejected them. 

Remus ended up drifting off, face pushed into Emile's neck, the most comfortable Roman had ever seen him. 

He hadn't even noticed how much time had passed, until he felt a hand on his shoulder, a little firmer than usual. 

It was Patton, staring at Emile and Remus with a strange expression. 

"Honey? Who's this?" 

_Oh fuck, he never calls me honey._

"Oh! Um, hello, Love, this is my friend from high-school. Emile Picani. Have a seat and you can get to know each other" 

Roman tried to stand up, so Patton could take his seat, and Roman would go and pull up a chair for himself - but Patton tightened his grip on the alpha's shoulder who wisely remained seated. 

"I'm fine standing up. Though I'd like to know why you've handed our little over to a total stranger." 

He swallowed thickly and tried to think of something to say that didn't irritate his husband tenfold. He had nothing. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, Emile took the opportunity to talk. 

" Sorry if I've upset you, Patton. I know how this must look, but I assure you it's entirely platonic. We just haven't spoken in a long while and wanted to catch up - and Remus, well I've met Remus before and he was very enthusiastic about sitting with me so Roman let me hold him. "

Patton chewed them words for a moment, not looking any more impressed as he approached Emile. 

" I'd like you to hand my little over, now, please "

Emile nodded, rubbing Remus' back and mumbling something as the little began to stir. It took Roman a moment to realise he was making sure Remus was okay with the transfer, though without the prior context Patton had no idea what Emile was whispering. 

"Hand him over. I'm his _daddy_ you shouldn't have touched him in the first place" 

And that tone was so clearly infuriated that Remus began whining, which prompted Emile to stand up so swiftly that Patton stumbled back, slightly jarred by the height difference before hardening again. Though Emile didn't start anything physical, instead offering the baby to him. 

"You know, Patton. I work as a therapist for traumatised Littles. I can say I can get a good read on caregiver's." 

The forced closeness from passing the baby from arms to arms allowed Emile to lean in slightly, voice just as stern as Patton's. 

"And the fact you see Remus as _yours…_ well that says a whole lot about you" 

Patton snarled at that, which was uncharacteristically primal for the mild mannered omega, as Emile collected his satchel and took his leave, sending Remus a wave as the baby leaned for him with an upset cry. It took only seconds for Remus to be crying, and though Patton softened he was clearly still irritated. He bounced Remus on his hip, pushing the pacifier into his mouth. When Remus whined sadly, Roman felt himself wince

"Love, I don't think he wants it -" 

The omega simply sent him a _look_ before walking out towards their car. Roman signed, dropping some extra tip on the table for the slight scene they'd caused, before picking up the baby bag and sheepishly trailing his husband out while pushing the empty pram. 

It didn't take a genius to know Patton was going to have a whole lot more to say on the matter once Remus was settled in bed, later tonight. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to hear from you all and will reply to every comment - unless you leave a 'ssshhhhh' then I'll leave it.


End file.
